We Walk Alone
by Ushuaia1
Summary: Sequel to Full Circle. Old memories and issues are stirred up when a dead child is found in the park. Kenny/Max centric.
1. Chapter 1

"Mm, we should stop," Max murmured, as Kenny kissed her in the kitchen early the next morning. "Kenny."

He kissed her again, not letting her out of his arms. "Everyone is still asleep."

I can't resist this, she thought, wrapping her arms around him and holding him close. I love you, she thought, I love you so much. "Oh, really?"

"You want to take this back upstairs?"

Yes, she thought, oh yes. What is he doing to me? Hmm. He's been all over me this last year, every time we're alone. Or not…in the car, bathrooms, parties, I'm surprised we haven't gotten arrested yet. "Mm, wait."

"For what?" he teased, still kissing her and letting his fingers slip into her waistband. "Right here, right now?"

Max pulled back and studied her husband for a long moment. How have we been married for five years? How have the past 13 years gone by so quickly? It seems like just yesterday I was 22, meeting him for the very first time. I just want to sit, talk, and he is practically giving me an orgasm already. Feeling him slide her pants down, Max felt herself giving in to his gentle touch. Let him, we can talk later. Groaning, as he slipped into her, she clung to him.

**1111111111111111**

"How's Max?" Skeeter asked, as he and Kenny went on patrol. "I haven't seen her in awhile."

Busy, he thought, thinking of the number of playgroups, classes and sports she took the kids to. The Mom friends, he thought, completely unsure of what to do when they were at the house. "She's good."

"Linda said she's in the cool Mom group."

"Max doesn't care about any of that," Kenny replied, thinking of the women his wife was hanging around with. "She has some new friends, so what?"

"What are you doing this weekend? You guys want to get dinner or something?"

Kenny nodded. "Yeah, let me run it by her."

**11111111111111**

"He's good," Linda said, nodding toward the field.

Max smiled at her old friend, as she followed her gaze where Nate and Billy Skeeter were playing soccer. "They both are. Nate loves it."

"How are you?"

Max shrugged, pushing her hair off of her face. I get that a lot, she thought, from Linda, Jill…I am okay though, except for Kenny poking at me all the time. Not that the sex is bad, it's great, fantastic…I can hardly walk some days with the way he's been plowing into me. "I'm good. Great."

Linda frowned, not really believing her. "Come on, what's up?"

Max bit her lip, not sure she wanted to share. "What? I'm fine."

Not sure she believed her, Linda glanced over at her friend. "Come on, spill it. You miss working?"

Max shrugged, not wanting to delve into that too deeply these days. "Yes and no. I love being with the kids, I think it's important to be with them. Em and Lindsay are so young, Samantha and Nate lost so much, and it's working. I think it's been good for all of us. Of course, I loved my job, but things changed, a lot, and who knows what will happen in a few years?"

She sounds grounded, Linda thought, more so then her husband. Skeeter is worried about him, thinks he living in complete denial, and that he forced Max into this role she never wanted. She does sound good, and despite hanging around with those Mom's I can't stand, she loves her kids and I think she's really doing this for them. "You'd go back to work?"

"I don't know. Maybe," Max trailed off. Kenny would kill me…I just want to talk to him again, and have it not end with sex on the table. "It's a long way off either way."

"Maxine!"

Linda groaned internally, as she watched Natalie Johnson and Ann Davidson walked up. I don't know what she sees in them. "Do I need to get lost?"

"What?" she asked. "Oh, come on."

Linda smiled. "I'm not underdressed?"

Max laughed despite herself. Glancing down at her own jeans, tank top and cardigan. It's clean and fits, that's all I can ask some days. "No more then I am. Give them a chance."

They're snobs, she thought, glancing over at her friend. I get that their kids are friends, but really? They look like they're going to the country club…I can't see them doing the pizza and barbecue that I know are regular events at the Lacos' house. Forget it, she likes them, it really is all about the kids.

**11111111111111111**

Kenny forced himself to stay neutral as they stood over the child's remains. Forcing himself not to think of his own son. Almost two years ago, he thought, it's fine. I'm fine. He's barely older then Lindsay. Not about my kids, they're safe with Max.

"Jesus Christ," Skeeter stated, looking over at his partner. "Who could do this?"

Kenny gulped, wishing she was anywhere else. Focus, compartmentalize, this is someone else's child, not mine. Slaughtered and dumped in the shallow grave. "We haven't had reports of missing children."

Skeeter shook his head, as the others arrived on the scene. "No. They barely even bother to hide him. He's been here awhile."

Kenny nodded, clamping down on his own pain. Dumped and buried. Left alone… "Yeah."

**111111111111111111**

"Of course I remember," Max said, mentally kicking herself. "It's going to be great."

Natalie smiled. "It's going to be fabulous. The perfect spring party."

"We're going shopping," Ann added. "Friday, are you coming? Then we figured lunch and playground. If I can tear Bella and Nigel away from their new nanny."

"Friday, what time? I have to check a few things," Max trailed off. Dress up, a night out? I miss that, even just heading out for a beer together. He keeps distracting me with sex…I'd settle for a conversation. "Should be fine."

"We were thinking about a spa day too. Or weekend."

Max nodded, running her hand through her ponytail. A whole weekend? Kenny might kill me. I really need to talk to him again. "Yeah, that might be fun."

"Who is that?" Ann asked, nodding to Linda coming back over. "Her?"

"We're old friends…Our husbands work together," Max said. Who I used to work with too…No, I'm okay. I actually like this. I love my kids, my husband, my life, I'm okay. "She's a good friend."

Natalie pursed her lips and nodded. "What are you guys doing after practice?"

Max shrugged. "Just heading home. Kenny is off at five, and Samantha has cheerleading until six and should be home at seven. We're going to barbecue."

"Again?"

"It's easy," Max admitted. I don't know how they do the organic, five course meals every night. "And it's nice out, so we take advantage of it."

"Max?" Linda called, doing her best to ignore her discomfort around the other two. "Did you get his too?"

"What?" she asked, pulling out her vibrating phone and reading the message. "Oh."

"Caught a case?" Linda sighed. "Can't be good."

Max felt a familiar tightening in her chest, that she tried to ignore. I understand, I get it. Sliding her phone back into her purse, I guess I'm firing up the grill tonight.

**111111111111111**

"No missing two year olds in the area," Kenny said, still feeling the disappointment from Jimmy. He still wishes Max was here…I'm sure everyone wishes Max was here. No, she's happy at home. I know she is…If I really asked her, I hope she would. I'm afraid to talk to her, afraid of what she could say. That she really hates me underneath it all. I should talk to her, I know she wants to.

"So we expand the search," Jimmy stated.

"On it," he said, shaking off his home problems.

I should pull him, Jimmy thought, this has to hit home at least somewhat. Max said he never mourned, never really got over it. That it is a huge part of the reason that she gave up her career…this isn't healthy for either of them. "Get on it."

**11111111111111**

Max smiled to herself, as she sat back in the lawn chair. How did I get talked into this today? Organic chicken breasts and 10 people in my yard? All I wanted was a hot dog.

"Does he do this a lot?" Natalie asked, sitting down beside her.

"What?" Max asked, keeping an eye on her kids. "Work late? Yeah. I get it though. He'll be home when he can."

"Seriously? Are you that naïve?"

"What?" she asked again. "It's not like that at all. He's a cop, I was one too…we worked a lot of late nights together when we had a case. I understand, and he knows I understand."

Natalie cocked her head to the side. "I thought that about Tom too…all the late nights at the office. He has a 22 year old girlfriend that I'm not supposed to mention."

Max gulped, not too sure what to say. "What? Really? Oh…He does?"

"I don't have any place to go. I don't want to give up my life."

The country club, the big house, the BMW, Max thought, that's why she stays with him? While he cheats on her? How…Would I do the same thing? "You can stay with us."

Natalie smiled and shook her head. "Your husband does not like me. He gets this look on his face like I want to make you into my clone."

Max groaned, knowing the issue ran deeper then that. That he was weird about people he didn't know around the kids and me…that he was less trustful of everyone. That I hate telling him when I'm getting a sitter for a few hours. "He's overprotective. A clone? I'm good if I just put on something clean everyday and brush my hair. I don't think I've worn anything but jeans for the last year. I can't polish myself up to look like you everyday. I'm serious, if you need a place, even for just a few days. We don't have a lot of room anymore, but we have a couch."

"I never worked, I married Tom was I was 18. I had our first baby at 20," she sighed. "I worked so hard to make our home nice, raise our five kids…kept myself in shape, did all the right things, and he does this?"

Max gulped, a little unsure of what to say. Thinking of their lack of conversation of late and the sexcapades of the last year. How he was even a little distant with the kids, like he's afraid of them. Oh, Kenny, what are we doing? "I'm sorry. I'm here if you want to talk."

"I can't talk to Ann or anyone else. They're…you know?"

Because I'm different, Max thought, I've seen too much…lost too much. I can't just turn a blind eye to things. Except when Kenny is all over me lately. "It's harder then I thought it would be, being a wife and mom."

"I don't think they get it."


	2. Chapter 2

I'm going to try to do weekly updates, but we'll see. It's getting to be the busy time at work...

Max rolled over on her side, feeling Kenny trying to get up without waking her. I didn't here him come home last night. "Hey."

He froze, sitting back down. "Hey. It's early, go back to sleep, Honey."

She smiled sleepily through her hair. "How bad is it?"

"Don't worry about it."

She gulped back her resentment at his coddling. Throwing back the covers, she pushed him back on the bed and straddled him. Hearing his yelp of surprise, as his arms came around her. Sitting back, she watched him for a long moment. "I don't want to have sex."

"Could of fooled me."

Max cocked her head to the side and studied him for a long moment. "I want to talk to you. Every time I try to, you rip my clothes off. Not that I don't love our sex life, but we always had more then that. Talk to me."

"What? We talk all the time."

"You telling me to take my pants off and groaning in my ear isn't what I'm talking about. I'm not looking for a fight, I miss you. I know you have a job, we have four kids, but we still…I miss you."

"Max, come on."

She groaned internally, trying to break through the wall he had put up. "I'm not asking you wax poetic to me. We used to tell each other everything. What happened to that?"

That I'm terrified of what you're going to tell me, he thought, that there is so much I want to tell you. I can't fall apart. "You said it. Work, kids, we have a lot going on."

"We have enough time to be having sex in the bathroom."

"Max, I have to get up."

This hurts, she thought, I could handle him pulling away from me. He barely acknowledges the kids. Just so distant with us all… "Is there someone else?"

"What? Come on, Max," he groaned. "Of course not."

She bit her lip, knowing that was a low blow. "I'm here, okay? Whatever is making you pull away from me, the kids, all of it…Kenny, I'll always listen. I'll understand. Please, come back to me."

He felt his heart freeze up in his chest at her soft words. She would, he thought, she knows. She gave up so much for me, and has given me everything I've always wanted. "Nothing is wrong, except you're making me late for work."

Max wanted to scream, as she climbed off of him. Gulping back her tears and hurt, she watched him make his way to the bathroom. I'm not giving up on us.

**2222222222222222222**

"I think I am ready," Samantha said, in hushed tones. "Really ready, Zach."

"You mean," he yelped, before dropping his voice. "Yeah?"

She nodded. "I've never…have you?"

He shook his head. "No. I mean, there hasn't…Really?"

She nodded, breaking into a grin. "Yeah, really."

**2222222222222222222**

"I expanded the search," Kenny said, reading through the reports. Dead two year olds, he thoughts, shake it off. "Nothing yet."

Jimmy nodded, keeping a close eye on him. It has to hit home for him, he's the one who opened the box and saw his dead son. "No one came forward to id him yet either."

Who could just abandon him, Kenny thought, let him die like that? Who wouldn't know he was missing. "Maybe he wasn't a kidnapped."

"And that's why there is no missing person's report," Jimmy finished. "Okay, local pre-schools and daycares, see who hasn't had their kids in class in awhile."

**2222222222222222222**

"I haven't seen you in weeks," Jill commented, as she gave the 16 month old her check up. "She's getting big, Max."

"You're telling me," Max replied, amazed that her squirmy, rambunctious, and wild child was so calm, at Jill's prodding hands. "You must have the magic touch because this one never sits still."

Jill smiled, as she took her temperature. "And how are you? I hear you're in the cool Mom group."

Max groaned. "Do we ever get out of that high school mentality? They're great, our kids do the same classes and stuff…It's been good. I'm good."

Jill glanced back over at her. I never thought that she would do this. Jimmy is still in shock over it, and I know he blames Kenny for her quitting. I don't know though, she does seem good. "Well this one is doing great. Booster shots next time. Do you want to go get a cup of coffee?"

Max glanced at her watch, and wanted nothing more to crawl back into bed and cry. "I can't. We have swim lessons this morning, gymnastics and soccer in the afternoon and then I promised Samantha that I'd take her shopping for something for her big date this weekend. I'm exhausted already."

Jill smiled, as she watched Lindsay run over to her Mom and Max pick her up. "You're good at this."

Max gave her daughter a squeeze and inhaled the scent of her baby shampoo. "They're pretty great."

"Hey, how's Kenny?"

Max faltered, smoothing back Lindsay's hair before replying. Lie, I can't deal with whatever is bothering him now. "What?"

"The case? The 2 year old boy they found?"

Max gulped, realizing that was what he didn't want to tell her. "Oh, he's doing his job."

"Max?" she pushed, seeing the shadow pass over her face. "You okay?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. Jill, really, I am. Do they knew who he is? What happened?"

She still thinks like a cop, Jill thought, I think she always will. "Not yet. You sure you're okay?"

Max nodded, thinking back to Josh. No one can hurt him again, that I can hold onto. I could throttle Kenny for this. I can't believe he didn't tell me, it has to bother him, and he won't talk to me anymore. "I'm fine, and of course it brings stuff up to hear that. No one can hurt Josh again, and that helps me sleep at night."

But not Kenny, Jill thought, knowing there was stuff she wasn't saying. She loves him, Jill thought, she's bending over backward for him. She's throwing herself into the mom and wife thing, and I think she's enjoying it. Oh, Kenny, what are you doing to her? "It's hard."

Max smiled sadly. "It's harder then I thought it would be. I have to go, we're going to be late."

**2222222222222222222**

"Carter is running his DNA, seeing if they can match it to anyone in the system," Kenny stated. "No cases of child abuse, of that age brought in to the hospital?"

Skeeter shook his head. "None. He's too young for pre-school, looks like he was dead for at least two weeks. Daycares?"

"They're expensive," Kenny said, remembering when they looked at them. "If someone has their kid in one, and they just disappear?"

"Unpaid bills? Or still paying them to throw people off?"

"Or they just yanked their kids suddenly?" Kenny said. "We have Sunrise and Kids Inc."

"You just happen to know the town daycares?"

"We used Sunrise a couple years ago."

Skeeter nodded, seeing the shadow pass across his face. Ignore it, I know there is stuff he hasn't dealt with yet. "You want to take them then?

**2222222222222222222**

Kenny stood in the doorway and watched his wife for a long moment. God, she's gorgeous, he thought, does she really have any idea? Even in those old flannel pajama pants and tank top, that hair up in a ponytail, folding laundry…all she wants is an actual conversation, and I don't know what to say to her. She's the only one I can talk to.

"Now it's getting creepy," Max said dryly, feeling his eyes on her and turning around. "I'm way too tired for this tonight."

"What did you do today?"

Max looked at him for a long moment. "What?"

"Come on," he said. "I want to know. What's up?"

"Really? Since when?"

He looked at for a long moment. She's pissed at me, and she has been for awhile. "Kids asleep?"

"It's after 10."

"What's your problem?"

"My problem?" Max replied. "My only problem is my husband, who I love and don't know what I would do without, is freezing me out. He won't talk to me. He ignores our kids. And it isn't fair to any of us."

"So what? You want a divorce?"

"What?" she asked again, staring at him like he lost his mind. "I want you. Our life was never perfect, but it was pretty close. We were so happy and…I miss you, us…You can tell me anything. I'm so sorry you're hurting, that you feel the need to shut me out…I love you, Kenny, please, you can tell me, trust me, we were partners and friends before we were anything else."

"You think I ignore our kids?"

Max gulped, not liking the look in his eyes. Don't goad him, she thought, he's always been so strong for me, my rock. Screw it. "I know you do, and don't think they don't notice. I think you're afraid to be alone with them because of what happened to Josh. That you're distancing yourself from them, so if the unimaginable happens again, you won't be hurt again."

"You're delusional."

She shook her head, letting it all spill out. "I think you're pushing me away because of the same reason. You know I won't let up until you tell me what's bothering you, why you're doing this to us. I think you feel guilty, that you haven't gotten over the loss of Josh, and that you're afraid to really deal with those feelings. That being with me, talking to me, brings it too close to home."

"Are you done?"

"Not even close," she retorted. "This isn't fair, Kenny. I can't do this without you. I need you, I love you, please just let me help you."

"I don't need your help, Max. I'm fine and you're full of crap. You want to make this my problem because you'd rather be working then being a stay at home mom."

"Oh, no, you're not turning this back on me," she retorted. "You pushed it on me, but I don't regret the decision. Nothing is more important to me then our family."

She hates me, he thought, she should. "You could of fooled me."

"Will you stop?" she cried, gulping back her tears. "Please, Kenny, stop, I can't keep fighting with you. Please, I miss you, the way we used to be. I really need my best friend because I don't know what is wrong with my husband."

He ached to wrap his arms around her, hold her, tell her he loved her. How much he needed her. Apologize, talk to her. She's right, she won't let up. Ever since I first saw her, he thought, I knew…The other half of me. I can't…She's practically begging me to. "Max, Honey, wait."

"For what?" she said, wiping her tears away. "If you don't want to be with me, just tell me."


	3. Chapter 3

"You," he said, reaching out to stroke her cheek. "Are the love of my life, Max."

She stepped back from him. "You have a weird way of showing it."

"You really believe everything you just said?"

Max gulped, wanting to throw her arms around him, despite her hurt. "Yeah, I do."

He reached out again, pulling her to him and into a strong hug. Hold her, tell her it's all going to be all right. I'm losing her. Be honest with her. "I'm not ready to let go."

Max looked up at him, hearing the strain in his voice. "Letting go doesn't mean forgetting."

He squeezed her tighter, fighting the urge to bury his face in her hair and cry. She'd let me, he thought, we've been through so much…I need her. She doesn't need me, no matter what she says. She's strong, capable, and always too good for me. "I can't Max, he was our son and … I can't."

"You have two daughters, who love their Daddy, and a niece and nephew who lost both of their parents, and need you too. You have me. I'd even have another baby, if we decide we want to. There is so much good in our lives."

"The kids I ignore?"

"You know they're pretty great?"

"You're their Mom and Aunt, of course they are."

"Come here," Max said, pulling on his hands and leading him to the stairs. Feeling his reluctance, she held on tighter. "Humor me."

"Max?" he pressed, feeling his walls crumbling around her. "What are you doing?"

"Look at your daughter," she said softly, as they stood in the doorway of Emily's room. "She was a surprise."

Kenny wrapped his arms around her waist. "Almost as much as Lindsay."

Max smiled at that. "Our wild child."

"I see so much of you in them. Em looks just like you."

It's okay, Max thought, we're okay. "She's independent. I nearly had a heart attack when she jumped in the deep end, but she just swam to the wall and laughed. No fear…You should see her tumble at gymnastics, she's already talking about spinning around on the bars and rings."

He gave her a squeeze. "Really?"

"She's a person, and Lindsay follows her around like a puppy. They're getting so grown up, they're not babies anymore."

"And they notice I'm an absentee Dad?"

"I get you have a demanding job, but it's more then that."

Kenny looked back in at his sleeping daughter. "They're lucky to have you…Max, I can't…It."

"You're a wonderful father and uncle. I wish you still knew that."

"I couldn't keep you or him safe."

"We were partners for a long time, you kept me safe on the streets, and I know I didn't make it easy for you. I believe you called me impulsive and reckless."

"You're my wife, it's different now. Not because I think you're helpless, I know you're not. Max, I love you, so much that it scares me. I couldn't deal with it if something happened to you. The kids, you're right okay? When I told you that you were the only person I trusted with them, I meant me too. You're the perfect mother."

"I'm far from perfect," Max said quietly. "Don't put me on a pedestal. It's hard, okay, being a mom. Thanks."

"For what? Being an ass for the last year? Max, I'm still going to be an ass, I can't just let it all go."

"I know…Kenny, I'm here, okay?"

He hugged her tightly to him. "I know."

**3333333333333333**

"I swear this kid looks familiar," Kenny said, as he and Jimmy stood in the morgue.

Jimmy and Carter exchanged a look, that he didn't miss. "You don't have to stay for this."

"It's not because," Kenny stated. "I'm fine."

"He's about Lindsay's age," Jimmy asked. "Maybe they do some things together? Playgroups or something?"

Kenny thought back, thinking about the gaggle of women Max had over every Tuesday. When she stresses out and bakes…tries to bake. "I run when Max has all those people over. You have no idea."

**333333333333333**

"Come on guys," Max said, ushering her brood into the house. Stifling a yawn, she suppressed a grin. They are great, I was right about that.

"Aunt Maxie?" Samantha said. "Can I talk to you about something?"

"What?" she said, tossing her stuff on the counter. "Yeah, of course you can."

"Mommy?" Emily said. "I'm hungry."

"Tell you what, Sweetie," Max said, handing her an apple. When did she get so grown up? "Go munch on that for awhile, and no jumping off the furniture."

"Mommy," she whined. "It's fun."

She smoothed back her daughter's dark hair. "You're a flying monkey, I know. Give me a few minutes, then we'll go outside until Daddy gets home."

Her eyes lit up. "Daddy is going to play with me?"

I will drag him outside by his gun belt if I have to. "When he gets home."

"You believe that?" Samantha asked, taking an apple of her own.

I have to believe it, Max thought, at least he's talking to me again. I can work with that. "Yup. What's up?"

"Can we keep this between us?"

Max smiled, as she watched her niece for a moment. Almost 16, she thought, oh Caro would be so proud of her. "You didn't commit a felony?"

"Not this week. I'm serious, Aunt Maxie," she sighed. "Please?"

"Spill it."

"Zach and I are going to have sex," she blurted out. "I'm ready, and …we have condoms and stuff. I just…can you take me to get the pill? I don't want to get pregnant."

Max sat back, dumbstruck. I'm not ready to have this conversation she thought. Samantha and Zach Brock…My niece and a kid I've known since he was four? Seriously? Say something, stay calm, at least she's talking about it first. "Of course I'll take you. Hey, you're sure your ready for this? He isn't pressuring you?"

"I love him."

Teenage puppy love, she thought, sex. She's 15...How can she be ready to have sex? God, I was her age the first time I did too…I'm so not ready to deal with this issue. Stay calm, talk to her. "He's your first love? You've really thought this through? It's a big step, one you can't take back."

"I'm not a kid anymore."

"I suppose not," Max mused. "Okay. Listen to me, really listen to me. We'll go get the pill, and I'll set you up an appointment with a gynecologist. Still use condoms, the pill doesn't protect you from STD's. And if any boy pressures you, even Zach, don't let them. It's your choice."

Samantha threw her arms around her, relieved beyond belief. "You're really cool with this."

"No," Max admitted, thinking how grown up she was and hugging her back. "It really scares me that you're ready to have sex, but I trust you to make your own choice. You can talk to me about it, anytime."

**33333333333333**

"He was strangled," Carter verified. "Then his neck was snapped. Look at the finger marks on his neck. He went quickly."

Kenny gulped, and forced himself to stay neutral. Not my kid, someone else is going through the same thing we did two years ago. I can do this. "Any prints?"

Carter shook his head. "No, but there is skin under his fingers. I'm sending it with his DNA to be analyzed. No reports of missing kids?"

Jimmy shook his head, as they looked at the bloated, bruised, remains, with the scratched up face. "We can't put out his picture like this either. You think he looks familiar? Even through that?"

I don't see my dead son in every victim, he thought, has he been at our house? Does Max know him? I split every time when they come over. "I don't know. Max has a huge group over every week, maybe?"

"Call her, and ask if anyone has been missing lately."

**33333333333333**

"Jesus Christ, Em," Max yelped, as she leapt off the top of the slide and onto the soft dirt. Feeling her heart settle back down, as she got up and ran around it again. "Hold on there, Monkey Girl."

"Mommy, up!" Emily cried.

Impulsive and reckless, Max thought, god, she is just like me. Kenny is going to have a heart attack over this one. Watching as Nate continued to kick the soccer ball into the goal, and Lindsay in her swing… "We should send you off to the circus."

"Yea!" Emily cried, running to her. "Elephants!"

If only she knew, Max thought, watching Nate patiently explain kicking the ball into the net to her. Em loves him, she thought, as she kicked the ball hard and fell square on her butt. My daughter, she thought, as she jumped to her feet to try again. Hefting Lindsay out of the swing, she settled down on ground with her. My friends would be mortified, she thought, sitting in the dirt. She's not a baby anymore…do I really want another one? I must be insane.

"Mommy!" Lindsay chirped, pulling at her hair.

"Ouch, Lindz," Max said, pushing it back and out of her toddler's fingers. Oh, God, in a few years will I be having the same talk with them that I just had with Samantha? I cannot tell Kenny, he'll lock her in her room. Zach Brock…how can he be old enough? His parent's can't know…How can I keep this to myself? Pulling her vibrating phone out of her pocket. Lindsay grabbed the bear and began babbling to it. "Here. Hello?"

"Hi, Honey."

Max shifted on the ground. "Hi, what's up?"

I don't want to do this, I don't want to drag her into this. "You busy?"

She glanced around the yard, and at her lap. "I'm good. Are you working late?"

"Probably,"' he admitted, wishing more then anything he was home with her. "Question for you. Anyone missing out of your playgroup lately? Or classes?"

"What?" Max asked, thinking that was as random a question as he could ask of her. "What? Why?"

"Is there?"

Max bit her lip, as she looked down at Lindsay for a long moment. "Just some usual stuff…I know a couple of kids that were out with the chicken pox, vacations, no one that is missing…my friend Ann hired a new nanny, and pulled her kids out of school, sports, and everything, and is home schooling them."

Something pinged in Kenny's head, as he listened to her. "How old are her kids?"

"Two and four. Bella was in Em's class at preschool and Nigel was in Lindsay's swim lesson. You've met them. Kenny, what is going on?"

"When was the last time you saw them?"

"Are you interrogating me?"

"Max, humor me for once."

"Ann was at soccer practice, she came with Natalie. Bella and Nigel weren't there…we talked about going to a spa and the party Natalie is throwing. Bella has been out of school for about a month, same with Nigel in swim lessons…I haven't seen them in at least that long. Kenny? What is going on? You don't think…the boy in the park?"

Mind like a steel trap, he thought, almost hearing her make the deductions in there. "I don't know, we just don't have anything to go on."

"She wouldn't…if he was missing, she wouldn't of been that calm the other day. I'll call her, and… She wanted to home school them from a young age."

"Two and four?"

"It's ridiculous, I know…Wait," Max said, scrolling through her pictures on her phone. "I'm going to send you a picture, it's of Lindsay, Nigel and Madison at swim lessons. It's … I don't want to believe it's him. She wouldn't of acted like that if he…Did you get it?"

Kenny gulped, as he stared at the image that appeared on his phone. Lindsay, he thought, looking at his red headed daughter laughing with the other girl and boy…our victim he thought. "Yeah, got it. Max? Keep this to yourself for now."

Hearing the stress in his voice, she fought to keep her voice level. "It's him?"

"I have to get to the morgue again. I think…I'll talk to you tonight. Max, I got to go. I love you."


	4. Chapter 4

"Max said they got a new nanny," Kenny said. "And that Ann pulled them out of everything."

"And she hasn't seen the kids in a month?" Jimmy said. "She didn't think that was odd? That they stopped going to all their activities, schools, and whatever else they all do together?"

"Ann told her they had a new nanny that was taking care of them. I don't think she thought anything of it."

"Her instincts are better then that," Jimmy said, as they pulled into the Davidson's driveway. "You know them at all?"

Kenny shook his head. "Not really. She has all of these new friends, I can't keep track of them."

"The cool mom group?"

"Yeah, them," Kenny said, knocking on the Davidson's door. Glancing in the darkened house. "No one home?"

Jimmy glanced around the overgrown yard, pile of newspapers on the porch, and mail in the box. "Max saw her yesterday?"

Kenny nodded. "Yeah. With someone named Natalie. No one has been here in awhile."

"Then where are they?"

**444444444444444**

"Mommy!" Emily squealed, running into the living room and leaping on her. "Mommy, I want Daddy!"

Max smiled, as she gave her a hug. My fearless and reckless monkey. When did she stop being a baby and become a person? "He's on his way home, Sweetie."

"Really?" Nate asked. "I needed another guy around here."

And I'm going to force him to spend some time with all of them. Em adores him…he used to do so much with her. Lindsay is getting older, she barely knows him…Nate and him were bonding. He was Samantha's hero. "I'm sure you do."

"You should have another baby. A boy. We need to increase males around here."

She placed her hand on her flat stomach. I would, she thought, I'd do it one more time. "A boy, huh? We'll see about that."

He groaned. "Uncle Kenny is never here."

"Oh, he wants to be here," Max said, not sure if she was lying or not. "It's tough being a cop."

"Daddy!" Emily cried, running to him, as he walked into the living room. "Daddy!"

"Hey there, Princess," he said, as she hugged him tightly.

"I'm not a princess," she stated stubbornly. "I'm a monkey!"

"Of course you are," he sighed, trying to untangle himself from her. "Max? A little help?

She cocked her head to the side and grinned, as Emily hugged him more. "I think you have a friend there."

Kenny finally lifted her in his arms. "A monkey, huh?"

"Mommy is sending me to the circus."

God, she looks just like Max, he thought, a monkey? "What are you going to do at the circus?"

Emily wrapped her arms around his neck. "I love you, Daddy."

Kenny felt himself getting choked up, as he looked down at her face. When did she get so grown up? How did I miss that? "I love you too, Em."

"Play with me."

"Tell you what," Kenny said, shooting his wife a look. "Let me go change, I have to talk to your Mom for a few minutes."

"Stay."

I'm a terrible Dad, he thought, Max practically shouted that at me yesterday. How did I miss her growing up? I can fix this. I can't lose them. "I'm not going anywhere, Princess."

"Monkey."

"Em, let him go change," Max cut in, watching as she finally loosened her grip. "Hey, why don't you get your drawings from school while he does?"

"I'd love to see them…Monkey," Kenny said, placing her on her own feet, as she ran off toward her room. Crossing the room to Max, he kissed her quickly. "Hi, Honey. Our daughter is a monkey?"

Max gulped back her tears at the sweet scene that just played out in front of her. I don't want to know yet. "Hi yourself."

"You okay?"

"Perfect," she said, as he wrapped his strong arms around her for a long moment. "What do you need to tell me?"

Not yet, he thought, I can't do it yet. "What do you say we fire up the grill, tire them out, what?"

He's trying, she thought, he's doing it for me. "Sounds great."

**444444444444444444**

"A mom from the cool mom group?" Skeeter asked. "Max's new buddy? You know Linda hates them and doesn't get why Max hangs out with them?"

Jimmy looked down at the photo of the three toddlers. Lindsay Lacos, he thought, looking at the red headed, laughing, little girl. A good mix of her parents, he thought, as Emily could be Max's brunette twin. "What do they do?"

"Playgroups, brunch, fundraising, tennis, I don't know…they're just cliquey. Max doesn't exactly fit their group profile, except for having young kids, she's gorgeous…and a bit infamous."

"Go home," Jimmy said finally. "We'll pick this up in the morning."

**44444444444444444**

"I think I'm more tired then they are," Kenny yawned, as he sat with Max on the back porch swing. "How do you do that everyday?"

She leaned her head on his shoulder. "Coffee and comfortable shoes."

"Emily is going to be the death of me…did you see her trying to climb that tree? When did Nate become such a soccer superstar? When did you start potty training Lindsay? How long has Samantha been serious with Zach?"

"Emily thinks she can do anything, she inherited my reckless and impulsiveness. I suppose that is karma. Nate is a natural athlete, but he loves soccer. Lindsay wanted to use the same toilet as Emily, so it is easy, she adores her big sister. Samantha and Zach…it's more serious then I would like, but do you remember puppy love when you were a teenager?"

"Yeah, but he's 17 and she's only 15. Do we have to worry?"

"Zach Brock," Max sighed, thinking of the conversation she had earlier. "We couldn't of picked a better boyfriend for her. They're smart kids, don't worry so much. What happened today? Was it him?"

Kenny pressed his lips to her hair. That would have been her first question to me a few years ago. "Max, Honey…Did you call her after we talked? Or anyone else?"

She shook her head. "You told me to keep it to myself. Why?"

"Jimmy and I went by her house, it doesn't look like anyone has been there in awhile. You saw her yesterday?"

She turned so she was looking at him. "Yeah, she came with Natalie to soccer practice. Was it Nigel? It can't be, she wouldn't of been planning spa and shopping trips if he was missing…the kid in the park has been dead for weeks? Just tell me."

Shield her, he thought, protect her…all I want to do is protect her. She'll find out anyway. "Yeah, it's him. That's why we went to her house."

She shook her head, and gulped back her tears. "No…you don't act like she did if your kid is…dead. Or missing. She wanted to go to the spa, and he…You're wrong."

"We're not wrong, Max. I could id him off the picture you sent me. We need to find the Davidson's…Where would they go?"

She shook her head. "You think they did this?"

"You said it. You don't plan spa trips when your kid is missing."

She stared at him for a long moment. "Bella is, was, in Em's class. If Nigel…what about her? How could I not have noticed?"

"She's your friend, of course you believed her."

She shook her head. "What are we going to do?"

"You are going to do nothing," he stated firmly, seeing that familiar look in her eyes. "Max, stay out of it."

"You already brought me into it. She's my friend," she replied. "Let me help."

Because she's a cop, Kenny thought, feeling the guilt hit him again. A cop I made give up her career…I know she did it for me, and she has never made me feel badly for it. She's with the kids all day, and every night she greets me every night with a smile and dinner? And I treat her like crap. "You already did. We wouldn't know who he was without you."

"You would of run his picture, someone would of identified him," she replied, as her other nagging thought hit her. "Are you okay?"

My wife who thinks I'm losing my mind, he thought, who can always tell if I'm lying to her. Talk to her, be honest with her. "Of course it's hard. He wasn't that much older then…Josh. I'm okay, Honey. You make it okay for me."

That's a lot of pressure, Max thought, but sweet of him. He's talking to me, he just spent hours with the kids, this is the man I love. Not the distant, overprotective, shielding me from anything unpleasant ass he was being. "I miss him too. That'll never go away. Every time I look at Emily…they were complete opposites from the time they were born."

"Oh, Emily is you," Kenny said. Tell her, talk to her about this. "She's your brunette clone. The day after we buried Josh…You and Emily were in the back yard, she was chasing after that big beach ball and kicking back to you. I remember just watching the two of you and thinking it would be okay, the three of us. That I still had you, her, and…I don't know what I would do without you. Any of you."

And that's why I'm here, she thought, snuggling in closer to him. The stay at home mom, who hosts playgroups, does bake sales, knows all the words to those swim lesson songs, I'm a soccer mom…how did this happen? It was never what I wanted, but I'm good at it. My kids are happy, it's important to Kenny, and I'm okay. I'm good at it, and I wouldn't trade in this time with the four of them for anything…I just feel like my brain is rotting away sometimes. "You'll always have me."

Until you figure out that you don't need me…that you're too good for me. You've always been too good for me. "Can I get that in writing?"

She laughed despite herself. "I'll even get it notarized. I'm glad you're here tonight."

He dropped another kiss on top of her head. "Me too. It's getting late, you want to go up?"

Stay out of it, she thought, don't say anything to anyone, she thought, her thoughts drifting back to Nigel. How do I do that? No, I have to…Or I can dig at my friends my a bit. No…last time I did that…focus. "Yeah, lets go to bed."


	5. Chapter 5

"No record of Ann and Paul Davidson at the airport, bus station or train station," Kenny verified. "No sign of their cars either."

"But she was at the soccer field two days ago?" Jimmy verified. "Per your wife?"

My wife who is out with some of those women now, Kenny thought. "Yeah. They talked spa and shopping. No mention of her kids or husband. There is Isabella Davidson too…where is she?"

"How well does Max know her?"

No, he thought, no, I'm not dragging her into this any farther. My Max who was ready to go play detective last night…because it's who she is. Damn it, what did I do to her? "Well enough. Our kids are friends, I don't know what she does with them all day. She was talking about how much she hates brunch."

"She mention anyplace they may go?"

"No…I asked her, okay? She's a little shocked over it…She doesn't want to believe it."

But she does, Jimmy thought, because of Josh. Underneath that perfect mom façade, she's still a cop, she isn't just baking cookies and playing patty cake. "I get that this is hard for you."

Kenny shook his head. "I'm fine. Really…It has nothing to do with that."

Lies, Jimmy thought, as he looked away. How do they ever get over this? Kenny burying it and Max jumping into fulltime mommy-hood? This isn't going to last forever, something is going to give with them. Probably with Max, she can't play pretend forever.

"Okay then. We're going to bring in everyone the Davidson's know. Start with their friends, work out to teachers, coaches, everyone. That includes Max too."

"She's out with them now. I'll call her. You're going to question Max?"

She attracts some crazies, Jimmy thought, a lot of crazies. I can almost understand why Kenny wanted her to stay home with the kids…I just can't believe she agreed to it. "She's Ann friend. She identified the victim for us, which we're keeping quiet."

Keep her safe, he thought, no, she told me she was fine…she's full of crap. And a great Mom, she's so great at it. Another kid, she mentioned it, do we really want to do that? That's five at home… God, she looks good pregnant. "She appreciates it. She's keeping her mouth shut too, don't worry about it."

Because she's still a cop, Jimmy thought, I can't believe she did this. "How did she meet these people?"

"Just through what she took the kids to. Sports, pre-school, they're…she likes them. Natalie, I really think, wants to give her a makeover or something, then drag her off to the country club. She likes them."

"Forget calling her, I'll go talk to her myself. Go find the others."

**5555555555555555**

"Uh, huh," Max said, as Emily continued to babble. "Em, that's great."

"Mommy! You're not listening!"

Max groaned internally, as she locked the front door behind her. Setting Lindsay down. "Nate, homework."

"I hate homework," he stated. "Why do I have to do it?"

"Because your teachers want to torment you," she replied, before she could think better of it. "And you'll get into a good college."

Nate laughed, as he took an apple. "Can I tell them you said that, Mom?"

Max froze, unsure of what to say or do. What did he just call me? Mom? He looks as shocked as I do…and he's nine. "That homework will get you into a good college, absolutely."

"Mommy, are you Nate's Mommy?" Emily piped up.

What do I say? Why isn't there a manual for this? "If he wants me to be, I'd love to."

Nate grinned. "Really? I mean…my Mom she…I miss her. Can I just…call you that sometimes?"

"Oh, Nate, so do I. Of course you can."

"Can I do homework?" Emily asked, tugging on Nate's sleeve. "Please?"

"You can do my fractions," he said, taking her hand. "Come on, Em."

I'm going to cry, Max thought, watching them walk off to the living room together. Calling me Mom? That…Wow. Oh, Caroline, I wish you were still here to see them growing up. Jumping a bit, at the knock at the door, she shook off the odd feeling. Yanking it open again. "Hi."

"Max," Jimmy said, regarding her for a long moment.

He thinks I threw it all away, she thought, and I'm a huge disappointment. Why is he here…Oh, God. "Is Kenny okay?"

The wife, he thought, seeing the fear in eyes. "Max, he's fine. I'm here to question you about Ann Davidson."

"It's really Nigel?" she asked quietly. "I wanted it to be wrong."

It hits home with both of them, he thought, watching her for a long moment. It's still a little raw. Pulling out a tap recorder, he said. "I'm sorry. Tell me about Ann and Paul. How did you meet them?"

She leaned up against the counter, hating it and knowing why he was doing it. "I met Ann through preschool, her daughter, Bella, is in Emily's class. They also do gymnastics together…Nigel goes to the same swim class as Lindsay. We go to know each other, and…we just talk about, just stuff."

"Stuff? Care to elaborate?"

"Mom stuff. Healthy recipes, sales, teachers, newest must have toys and clothes, our kids, husbands…it's all kind of…why are you looking at me like that?"

"You. Talking about that stuff all day."

"What's wrong with it?"

Don't, Jimmy thought, looking back at her. She made her choice, Jill certainly thinks it was the right one. No, I don't care how great a mom she is, how great she says she's doing, it's crap. "It's not who you are. You're a cop, and you know it. I know you did this because Kenny asked you too, that you did it for him. I know he's been extremely overprotective of you and the kids this past year and a half. That all he wants is for all of you to be safe. You can't live like that forever. If this is really what you want, if you're really happy being a stay at home mom, great, I won't mention it again. But if you're not…you can't lie to yourself forever."

Max fell silent at that, unsure of what to say. Nail on the head, she thought, and I know Kenny wouldn't of told him all of that. Be honest. "I wouldn't of even thought of it if he didn't bring it up. We went through a lot, it changed both of us…It's important to him."

"Just him?"

"I wouldn't trade this time with them for anything. And he's okay, Jimmy. I forced a couple things down his throat a few days ago, and…he is. There is a lot we're dealing with, but…he's okay. I'm okay. Don't you want to know about Ann?"

She seems okay, he thought, regarding is deputy for a long moment. This isn't Max, he thought, she isn't this person. Kenny has her barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, with their 16 month old. Standing here gym shorts, sweatshirt and her hair grown out… Telling me she likes this…this isn't Max. "Get talking."

**5555555555555555**

"Damn it," Kenny said, as he and Skeeter stood over the body of the girl. I know her, he thought, looking at the blond girl. She's been at my house, she and Em go to school together. "This is Isabella Davidson."

Skeeter looked at him. "You sure?"

"Yeah. I even drove her home from gymnastics one time…she's in Emily's class. Here," he said, pulling out his phone and scrolling through the pictures that Max sent him all of the time. "I remember this one because of how much Em looks like Max."

"They are doppelgangers," Skeeter commented, looking from the photo to the body. "What is going on here? Where are their parents? Linda confirmed seeing her in the park with Natalie and Max that day. While her kids….Same ligature marks on her neck. We need a team out here."

"I'll make the call."

**555555555555**

"Hey," Max said tiredly, opening the front door later that night. Exhausted, she thought, how come I don't get vacation days anymore? And Kenny is late again…I can't be mad. I know, I get it…I'm not going to be that wife. "What are you guys doing here?"

"Deputies came to my house," Natalie said, as Max opened the door wide. "Oh, my God. Did you know?"

"Know what?" Max asked, as Kelly and Jackie followed her inside. Lie, keep my mouth shut, they're my friends, I can't just…No, it's…What is wrong with me? "I had one too."

"You're married to one," Kelly stated.

"Kenny doesn't talk to me about work anymore. It's part of his shelter me from the world and protect his family movement," Max replied. "Trust me, it's one of the sticking points in our relationship."

"I've seen how that man looks at you," Jackie stated. "All you have to is bat your eyes at him and he'll trip all over his feet trying to make you happy."

"You think so?" she asked dryly. "We used to talk about everything."

"We saw Ann two days ago…it can't be Nigel. She was…they she did it, that's what this is about?" Natalie said. "What do you know? You know these people. You're her friend, you have to help us find her."

Damn it, Max thought, her mind spinning. I'm so tired. All I want is to crawl into bed… "Yeah, I know them. I'm not one of them anymore, I haven't been in over a year. More if you count the time I was on leave before I made it official. Kenny doesn't talk to me about this stuff, my old co-workers don't, and Jimmy Brock thinks I completely threw my life away. All I know, if it is Nigel, and they seem certain it is…You know have no idea how much it hurts to know…that someone could do that to your child."

"Oh," Natalie said, looking at her for a long moment. "I forgot about…I'm sorry."

I'll never forget, she thought, thinking of what she saw in that box. I'll never be the same, Kenny hasn't been. "It's been more then two years for us. It's okay."

"Do they think she and Paul did it?" Kelly pressed.

My head hurts, Max thought, I look like crap…Bed. I need to sleep. I can't do this right now. "I don't know."

"We need to find her," Jackie said. "You have to find out what the cops know."

"Jimmy Brock won't stop until he finds out the truth."

"He didn't save your son," Kelly stated.

I hate you, she thought, feeling her heart practically stop, I hate you. Out of all of them…god, she looks down her nose at me. I'm not like them. "He tried, I know how hard he tried to. Josh, he…no one can ever hurt him again. Listen, guys, I'm exhausted, can we do this tomorrow?"

**55555555555555555**

"Ligature marks on her neck match the one on Nigel Davidson's neck," Carter confirmed. "I'll know more after the autopsy."

Kenny's gaze fell to the body on the table. How…both of them? She's Emily's friend, God, she's been to our house. Where are the parents? Two days ago, Ann Davidson was planning a spa and shopping trip with my wife, while both her kids laid in shallow graves less then 500 yards apart. "Skin under the nails?"

"We'll see if it matches what is under her brother's."


	6. Chapter 6

"I didn't know you had a nanny," Jill said. "You never mentioned it."

Max shook her head and took a long drink of her coffee. "Not really a nanny. Two mornings a week for a few hours so I can get stuff done, go for a run, get a cup of coffee with a friend."

"You're welcome to bring Lindsay anytime," Jill said, still a bit surprised that she would leave her kid alone with a baby-sitter. That Kenny would really go for that these days. "It's been a long time since mine were that young."

"You want to trade?"

Jill looked at her for a long moment. "Max? Are you okay?"

"Jill, I'm fine. Really," Max said, forcing herself to believe it. What Jimmy told me, she thought…what if he's right? Deep down inside of myself…No, I love my kids, Kenny, my life, I wasn't lying when I said I wouldn't trade this time with them for anything. "Don't worry about me so much."

"I can't help it. You and Kenny are like our own children."

Max smiled at that. "I used to be so resentful of Jimmy treating me like that."

"I mean it," she said. "You need anything, even someone to listen. I know it hasn't be easy for you."

I'm a fraud, she thought, deep down I'm not this person. Feeling immediately guilty…I never wanted this. How can I even…What did I do to myself? For Kenny, who has treated me like crap for the past year…he knows I'm a fraud at this, that I make it up as I go along. Oh, crap.

"Max?" Jill pushed. "What is it?"

She looked off, shaking off her dark thoughts. I'm okay, my kids are great, I never knew I could love anyone as much as them, my husband is trying…I'm okay. "It's nothing. Really. Just a lack of sleep. Jill, really, I'm great."

**6666666666666666**

"Linda was pissed," Skeeter yawned. "I got an earful about staying over last night."

"I don't think Max was thrilled with it either," Kenny admitted. She got really quiet for a minute, I know we're still in a fragile spot. "She tells me she gets it."

"Of course she gets it. She's still one of us."

That's the problem, Kenny thought, and I forced her to bury that part of herself. She's a great mom, a fantastic one. She loves our kids, she lights up around them…I couldn't ask for a better wife. She is everything I've ever wanted. "You think that?"

"I think she made a tough decision."

One she didn't want to make, he thought. "You think she made the right one?"

"That doesn't matter. It matters what you two think."

**6666666666666666666**

"Can we get ice cream?" Emily asked, running over to Max at pick up. "Chocolate ice cream? Please, Mommy?"

She crouched down, to give her a hug. Feeling herself relax for the first time in what felt like weeks, this is right. "Ice cream, huh? What about broccoli?"

"Eew."

"You sound like your Dad," Max smiled, tugging on her pigtail, and feeling her friend's watching her. Do they know something? Nigel, Bella, Ann, Paul…do they know where she is? Natalie was with her in the park…No, she can't. No one could…Damn it. I know exactly how cruel people can be. Looking back down at Emily, I would give my life for her. "All right, Monkey-Girl. How about chocolate ice cream, covered in rainbow sprinkles?"

Emily nodded, reaching up for her hand. "Can Daddy come too?"

"Ah, he's still at work, Sweetie."

"I want Daddy."

Me too, Max thought, I can't be mad at him. I know this job… he's not out drinking beers and hitting on other women. "Tell you what. We'll get ice cream, go pick up Nate, and then you can draw him a picture. He loves your pictures, Em."

She nodded and grinned up at Max. "Mommy, you look pretty."

"And you are beautiful," Max said, loading her into the car. "And you're going to get covered in ice cream."

"Hey, wait," Natalie said. "Are you avoiding us?"

Max slammed the door, willing herself to stay sane. "No, just don't have a lot of time today…and I just promised Emily ice cream."

"What about Ann and Paul?"

"I don't know anything. I don't know how many ways I can tell you that Kenny doesn't talk to me about work," Max said. "I don't know when, but he doesn't think about me that way anymore. I'm not his…I'm just his wife these days."

"You know all those cops."

"So what? I'm not one of them anymore. I haven't been for awhile," she argued. Just a wife, she thought, he's talking to me again…like we used to. "I made a choice not to be."

**66666666666666666**

"It's all white," Skeeter said, as they combed through the Davidson house. "So clean."

Kenny nodded, taking in the white carpets, furniture, walls. Cold, he thought, sterile…Why does my wife hanging out with this person? We're not rich. "Does anyone even live here?"

"My kids would have trashed this place."

Kenny nodded again, as they opened the drawers in the bedroom. Both their kids dead, parent's missing… "What is that?"

Skeeter covered his nose, as the smell hit them. Looking toward the bathroom. "Ah, crap."

Kenny pushed the door open, not wanting to know. Recoiling, as they stared at a bloody Paul Davidson in the bathtub. What the hell is going on?

**666666666666666666666**

"Didn't you have coffee with the Sheriff's wife today?" Kelly asked, joining them. "What did you two talk about?"

"Jill?" Max said. "Nothing…we're old friends. She's like family to me."

"And Ann is your friend. You owe it to all of us to find out what is going on."

What's going on is that her kids are dead, remembering her and Kenny's short conversation last night. The news that hasn't hit the media…that they think she and Paul killed them. Stay out of it, keep my mouth shut…Damn it, Kenny. "Where do you think she is? I know when…Josh died…I just wanted to hide from the world. I didn't, couldn't, deal with questions, people…all I wanted was Kenny and Emily."

"You think that's what happened?" Natalie asked. "He died and they took off?"

Lie, Max thought, why do they want this information from me? "I don't know what happened…I trust my husband, Jimmy and the rest to figure out what happened. I'm really not objective when it comes to…dead kids. I'm worried about her too, okay?"

"Of course you're not objective," Natalie said, looking contrite. "I always forget about…But, what if we can help her?"

Max looked up, digging up her cop instincts. "They have to find her, to help her."

**666666666666666**

"Paul Davidson kills the kids, Ann finds out and kills him?" Kenny said, feeling sick to his stomach.

"And we don't know where Ann Davidson is. Three days ago in the park," Jimmy said. "Her accounts were cleaned out, no activity on their credit cards, she fell off of the planet."

Kenny looked up, his heart freezing up in his chest. "Nothing at their vacation house either. Her friends weren't helpful."

Including Max, Jimmy thought, thinking to his conversation with his former deputy. Max…who knows these people. "I think her friends know more then they're saying. You know them?"

"Vaguely. I run when they come over."

"Max is close to them."

No, he thought, no. I'm not putting her in that position again. No one is putting a gun to her head again…I can't sit by her hospital bed again, raise our kids alone… "No."

There it is, Jimmy thought, that is why Max did this. "She knows them, she knows Ann. I know she has a habit of attracting crazy people, that she doesn't always think before she acts…and I know she's your wife. I know you're extremely protective of her, but I also know Max. She says she's great, I'll believe her…I also believe that she's chomping at the bit over this."

"You can't ask her to do this."

**6666666666666666666**

"You really trust those cops, even after they didn't find your son?" Kelly asked. "I wouldn't."

"They did everything they could," Max stated.

"You're the one who got them?" Natalie said. "I mean, your ex, father, you're the one who caught them?"

Crap, Max thought, crap. "I had a lot of back-up."

"But you caught them, not the police. Why can't you find Ann and help her?"

Because Kenny would probably divorce me over it. Stay at home wife and mom, safe from harm…I can't. Dead kids, how do I do this? "Because I'm not a police officer anymore."

"Just a private citizen."

Max gulped, hating how intrigued she really was by it. The part of me I'm trying to squash, she thought, the part my husband wants me to forget about. Crap. Why can't I just live my life? "Okay. Let me…I have things I have to think about."

**666666666666666666666**

"I thought she would be back by now," Kenny said, as they stood in his kitchen, hating every minute of it.

Sarah looked up, from where she was reading with Lindsay. "I'm here until three today. Max said had some errands to take of, hair appointment, pick ups, and it's not a problem. Me and my friend here are just hanging out. Right, Lindz? You going to say hi to your, Dad?"

Jimmy smiled, as he watched his deputy lift the 16 month old up. They had good looking kids, he thought, beautiful kids. "She's getting big."

"You're telling me. I think it's why Max wants to have another one," Kenny said "Hey, Kiddo."

"Really?" Jimmy asked, surprised at that.

Almost bled to death, he thought, had a stroke. What is wrong with her? It's like she has a death wish. Turning as the kitchen door opened and closed. Looking up as Nate and Emily came bounding in, he caught his wife's eye. "Hey."

Crap, Max thought, again. Five minutes of peace, is that too much to ask? Tossing her purse on the counter, and wincing a bit as Emily squealed and ran to Kenny. "Hi…what are you two doing here?"

"Daddy!" Emily cried. "Up!"

"Do you want me to take these three outside?" Sarah piped up.

Max shot her a thankful look. "I would owe you. Thanks."

"I want Daddy to take me outside," Emily insisted. "Please?"

He reluctantly handed Lindsay off to Sarah. "Tonight, Princess. I have to talk to your Mom."

"Daddy, I'm not a princess, I'm a monkey."

"Of course you are. Go, Em."

"Nate!" she called, grabbing his hands. "Will you push me on the swings?"

Max watched them go for a long moment, before turning back to the two men in her kitchen. "Hi."

So beautiful, Kenny thought, looking at her for a long moment. Low slung jeans, thin gray t-shirt, and all that hair…and a wary look on her face. Too good for me, she can't do this. "Hi, yourself."

He hates it when I get a baby-sitter, like I'm an epic failure as a mom. "What's going on?"

"I need a favor," Jimmy said, doing what he badgered Kenny into doing. "Your friends. I need you to dig, see what you can find out about Ann through them."

Max leaned back against the counter, as she looked over at her stoic husband. Again…why are people asking me this? Kenny…he hates it. The perfect wife and mother, that's what I am to him. Protect me, our kids… "What?"

"You have in, and we need to use it."

She crossed the room to Kenny, ignoring Jimmy for a minute. Standing in front of him, she looked him in the eye. "Are you okay with this?"

"It's your call," Kenny said finally, not quite looking at her.

"That's not what I asked."

"You know I'm not."

"Then tell me that," Max said, fighting the urge to shake him. "Stop being passive aggressive with me."

Pissed off, Kenny thought, my wife with the death wish. Why can't she get it through her thick skull? "What?"

I can't, she thought, the day overwhelming her. My friends, Kenny, why is Jimmy asking me to do this? It's not...Kenny looking at me like I'm going to get myself killed, that disappointment...I'm not who he wants me to be. I've done everything he's wanted, I changed who I was for him. "Just tell me, that's all I want."

I'm losing her, he thought, she's going to realize she doesn't need me anymore...That she deserves better then me. "I know what you want."

I'm going to scream, she thought, I hate it when he gets so cold and distant. It physically hurts...I can't. Taking a steadying breath, she turned to look back at Jimmy. "No. I'm not doing this again."


	7. Chapter 7

"No," she stated again, stepping back from him, gulping back her frustrations at the situation. Looking back at Jimmy. "I'm sorry, I'm not…No."

"Max," Jimmy interjected. "You know them, you talk to them everyday. You know that there isn't something right with this. Her whole family is dead and she is missing. You're going to let that go?"

"It's not who I am anymore."

"Oh, it's who you are," Jimmy said. "And you know it. He knows it too. You're a great mom, but you're a hell of a cop too."

She shook her head again, trying to ignore the same pull she felt before. "Not anymore."

Kenny gulped, as she reached back and grabbed his hand. She's had my back for longer then I can remember. "She made her decision."

"Her decision?" Jimmy asked, looking at the death grip she had on Kenny's hand. "All of this was her decision? Look at your wife, for gods sake!"

"Honey?" Kenny pressed, as she looked away. "You have something to say?"

No, she thought, no, I can't do this now. The part of myself I buried for him because he asked me to. To be who he wanted me to be…I thought he knew me…the one person who really got me. I can't…It's okay. Raising our kids, being this person, I love the time with them, but…I promised him. "I can't breathe in here. Excuse me."

"Not a chance," Jimmy interjected. "Sit down. Both of you."

Max gulped. A fraud, she thought, they all know I am. Kenny is going to hate me. He knew me, how could he forget that? We've been getting back to a good spot again and…because I changed who I was for him. Ignoring Jimmy, she turned to face her husband. "Kenny, I…I think I need to do this."

He felt his heart freeze up in his chest, as he looked at her for a long moment. She's going to get herself killed, he thought, no regrets, that's what she said. That she was happy. My Max, he thought, my tough, strong, smart, partner, best friend…my amazing loving, sexy, caring wife, a fantastic mother…and she's about to jump back into this and get herself killed. "You think?"

"Don't," she said softly. "I can't do…I can't handle you freezing me out again. It physically hurt and…I can't live like that again."

He felt himself caving at her words. How vulnerable she looked. She's never vulnerable… "Max…I know, okay?"

"I promise I'll be safe…it's a one time thing," she trailed off, a little unsure of her feelings over it. "Please, I can't do this without you. We always made a good team."

"A one time thing?" he repeated, knowing that wasn't true. She'll be back into this, the line of fire, leaping first, looking later. She wants me to say it's okay, that we'll be okay…We will be. Look at her, tell her. "You're stuck with me, Honey. I got your back."

"It is a one time thing," Max repeated, turning to look at Jimmy again. "And I have some conditions."

**7777777777777777777**

Max leaned up against the doorjamb, watching Lindsay sleep in her crib. My baby, she thought, is growing up so fast. Another one, do we really want another one? Running her hand over her flat stomach…we're so up and down lately. What did I just agree to do?

"You coming to bed?" Kenny asked, breaking into her thoughts.

"In a minute," she said quietly, watching Lindsay again for a few more seconds. "How could anyone hurt someone so little and helpless? I didn't know, before we had kids, that I would love them this much, that I could."

"I knew you would be a great mom," Kenny said finally, joining her in watching Lindsay. "I mean it, you're amazing with all four of them. You're everything that I've always wanted."

"I love you," she said quietly, turning to look at him. "But you have to trust me to take care of myself. I'm not 25 anymore, I've grown up. I'm not going to do anything to endanger myself, you or our kids. Please believe me."

"I trust you. You're not helpless, I know that…you get involved. You're passionate. It hits home for me too, Honey."

"I don't have any regrets. Kenny?" she asked, turning to look at him. "Are you okay?"

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in closer. "You know I'm not. Seeing those kids? Ripped my insides out again. I miss him, Max…it wasn't fair, you fell apart, but were able to pull it together enough to go get the killers. I couldn't do anything."

She looked up at him. "Getting the killers got my sister killed. That wasn't worth it and…I can't do that again."

"What?"

She shook her head. "Caro would…Nate and Samantha would still have…I should of never of went."

"You never told me that."

She shook her head. "Everything happened so fast…we took them in, Lindsay, my stroke, this stuff with us and…I didn't have time to think about it…and…this…I know you want me safe, our family safe and."

"You listen to me," he said firmly, looking her in the eye. "You're not pulling the same crap I did. Max, what happened to Caroline isn't your fault and you get that out of your head right now. One of us has to be sane around here."

She hugged him tighter to her. "I'm scared, okay? I meant it, I need you with me in this. What if…You don't hate me?"

"You piss me off sometimes…I could never hate you, Honey. You're the other half of me. I got your back."

"It's a one time thing."

"Is that what you want?"

She looked up. "What?"

"You want it to be a one time thing?"

"That was a condition I set."

"You're a cop. That's what Jimmy kept saying to you…And he's right."

Max stared at him for a long moment, trying to make sense of her feelings on the issue. "You know I love being a mom? This time with them is priceless to me."

"But?" Kenny pressed, hearing it in her voice.

Now or never, Max thought, the things I don't want to tell him. "Work was important to me, you know that. Things changed, everything did, really fast. I miss it, Kenny, of course I do. This…I'm scared to do this. Because of Caro…and because I don't want to.. I don't want to resent you if I realize how much I do miss it."

"Max."

"I changed who I was for you," she continued, not holding it in any longer. "You knew who I was when we got married. I thought you were the one person who got me, who really understood who I was…then you asked me to give up, to be someone else, and that wasn't fair. We lost so much, and…I didn't want to lose you too. So I did what you wanted, gave up my career, became a full time Mom. I made the decision, I could of said no."

"You really regret all of this?" Kenny asked before he could think better of it. She hates me, I knew it. "Getting married? Having kids? All of it?"

"That is not what I said."

"It's exactly what you said."

"You think I regret getting married and having a family with you?" Max asked, stepping back. "Really? You're the love of my life, Kenny. There isn't anyone else I could ever imagine wanting to be with. I love our family."

"But you're miserable."

"I am not. I love being a mom…it's the most fulfilling thing I have ever done. What makes it even better, is I get to do it with you."

"You're all over the place, Honey. What do you want?"

She took a steadying breath. "I don't know."

"I love you," he said softly. "I want you, I need you, to be happy."

She nodded, not trusting her voice anymore. "Lets just get through this first?"

He wrapped his arms around her tightly again. "Come on, lets go to bed."

**777777777777777777777777**

"She still have the goods?" Skeeter asked.

Thinking of the bundle of nerves she was that morning, Kenny nodded. "Yeah. Max knows what she's doing."

"She thinks they know something?"

"They asked her to find out what we know. That set off some alarms with her."

**77777777777777777**

I'm a terrible friend, Max thought, they're going to hate me. "Really?"

"You are out of it," Natalie sighed. "What's going on?"

"What?" Max asked, thinking of her wired necklace and looking over at her daughters playing on the swings. Stick to the story. "I'm fine. Really."

"Did you," Natalie trailed off. "I mean about Ann? Do they know anything?"

Do it, Max thought, summoning up that buried part of herself. "I don't know much…Kenny doesn't talk to me about work anymore, but…they don't have any leads. They need to find Ann, Nat. Her kids and husband were murdered….if she knows something, if she ran and is hiding…all they want to do is find her."

Natalie shook her head. "That's all?"

"It's like she fell off the planet."

"What else can you find out?"

"I could find out a lot more if you tell me what you know," Max said quietly. "I don't do cryptic well. She's my friend too, Nat. I want to help her."

Natalie shuddered. "I don't…do you think she killed them?"

Yes, Max thought, or she had a part of it. I can't…How could anyone? "There isn't enough information to know for sure."

"You didn't answer."

"I learned never to jump to conclusions. You want me asking questions, finding answers? I'll do it. You have to trust me."

"Of course I trust you, we're friends."

"Then what is it?" Max asked carefully. "We're going to help her."

"I…she's scared."

Crap, Max thought, crap. "Natalie? What is it?"

"Please? I can't…I promised."

"You can tell me."

"She didn't kill them, any of them…Paul, he…now that he's dead, she'll be safe?"

"Did Paul hurt her?" Max pressed. "Is that why she vanished?"

Natalie shook her head. "I promised her. Please, she needs to get away from here and her picture is all over the news. We need to get her out of here."

"Nat."

"You don't get it," she continued. "You don't know what it's like. It's obvious how much your husband loves you, your kids are spunky and adorable, your niece and nephew are delightful…your life is perfect. You don't know what it's like."

"My life is far from perfect," Max retorted. It was close for awhile, she thought, we're going to be okay.

"Your husband wanting to have sex all the time isn't even in the same ballpark."

She winced, well aware of the recording. "It is when it's what we do for a year to avoid actually dealing with our problems. This isn't about us, Nat, it's about Ann. If she's scared, hurt…what do you need from me?"

"Just like that?"

"It's been a long time since I've felt useful. She needs our help."

Natalie nodded. "Okay. Lets go."


	8. Chapter 8

"Right now?" Max asked, glancing back out at her girls on the swings.

Natalie sighed and shook her head. "No…She needs new identification. Can you?"

Committing felonies, Max thought, is this really happening? "Yeah, probably."

Natalie nodded, leaning back on the bench. "I don't…she's a mess."

So are you, Max thought, and I'm not too far behind. I'm a terrible friend. "When then?"

"Saturday," she said after a long moment. "I'm going to get her a plane ticket…we'll go meet her."

Max glanced back out at their kids playing together. Is she…she can't be running off too? "Nat? Are you going with her?"

"I…I think so. It's so…I can't do this. Tom and his girlfriend, five kids, I don't…I don't want this life."

Crap, Max thought, crap. Calm, don't judge her, just listen. She knows more then she's saying. The same question Kenny asked me last night. "What do you want?"

"To be free. I want a redo of my life."

**88888888888888888**

"She's good," Skeeter commented. "Scary good."

Kenny nodded, torn between being incredibly proud of her and wanting her to run away quickly. "Of course she is."

Skeeter shot his partner and old friend a glance. "You two okay?"

"We're getting there," he said after a long moment. "We just…we have some stuff to deal with."

"By having a lot of sex?"

"I'll have to thank her for that one."

"Come on, people weren't as blind as you two thought. Anyone could see how much…there was a lot of chemistry there."

"Still is."

**8888888888888888888**

"You could come too…No," Natalie sighed. "You're going to stick you marriage out to the bitter end…you'll get to this place too."

"Wanting to run away from my life?" Max asked. "Seriously? Yeah, of course it's a little appealing to think about spending the rest of my life lounging on a beach, but…You can really just walk away?"

"Do you really want to spend the rest of your life making lunches and waiting for your husband to come home?"

No, I want to be out there catching killers, she thought, with him. Raising our kids…having that near perfect life we had going. This isn't happening… "I make lousy sandwiches."

"They dump all of this on us, and expect us to take care of everything. It's time to give them a taste of their own medicine."

"Saturday?" Max asked again, as Natalie nodded. "What time?"

**88888888888888888**

"We have a tail on Natalie Johnson," Jimmy said, seeing Kenny's tense expression. "She did good."

"She isn't done," he said, grateful that she finally left the park. "Saturday?"

Jimmy nodded. "She'll be perfectly safe."

"Max? Perfectly safe?"

She does have a way of getting herself into trouble, Jimmy thought, and he's always been so protective her. "It's a one time thing, she's not going to do anything reckless."

"You know it isn't going to be a one time thing with her."

"That's something we'll have to discuss when this is done then. Come on. Lets go meet her."

**888888888888888888888**

"Damn," Max murmured, as she finished throwing up in the kitchen sink. Wiping her mouth, she glanced back at Lindsay happily coloring. Running the water over the bile, she wiped the sweat from her brow… "Pretty gross, Lindz, huh?"

"Mama sick?"

Not sick, she thought, running her hand over her stomach…Am I? All that sex, am I? I can't deal with it now. Sitting down next to her. "Nah. What are you drawing, Sweetie?"

Lindsay giggled and pushed the paper toward her. Max glanced up, as she saw the cruiser pull into the driveway. I'm surprised it took them this long. "Mama?"

Glancing back at the living room where Emily was watching cartoons and Nate was doing his book report, she turned back to the picture that Lindsay was coloring. Smiling a bit at the red and purple scribbles, she smoothed back her daughters red hair. "It's almost as pretty as you, Lindz."

"Mama pretty."

Max pushed her hair back off of her face, and smiled at her. "You take after your Dad, Kiddo…Hi."

"Max?"

Oh, thank god he doesn't sound mad at me, Max thought. I know he said it was fine, but…We'll be okay. Smiling slightly at her husband and Jimmy. "I'm surprised it took you two this long."

Kenny smiled despite himself, as he looked at as wife. Wary, he thought, looking at her, and she looks good…even in those faded and holey jeans, white t-shirt, and her hair long and loose… "What's that smell? Someone vomit?"

Not now, she thought, I can't tell him I might be, I know how he'll get. "Yeah, this one. You know how her stomach can get."

"Where is everyone?" Kenny asked, thinking the house was eerily quiet for six. "Did you send Emily off to the circus?"

Max smiled at that. "That is tempting some days, and she would love it. No, I caved and she's watching cartoons. Nate is doing homework and Samantha is still at cheerleading."

Jimmy watched them both for a long moment. "You have a few minutes?

"About Saturday?" she asked, pushing the box of crayons back toward Lindsay.

Cutting to the chase, he thought. "How are you doing?"

Max leaned back, her mind whirling in a million directions. "I should of picked some saner friends, huh?"

Crazy people, Kenny thought, she always finds them. She liked them, I think she really liked having girlfriends. God, she needs more then this…what did I do to her? "You couldn't of known."

She shot him a look. "Really? It seems to be a pattern with me."

"Sometimes," he agreed. "Come on, no one saw this one coming."

I should of, Max thought, if I wasn't so caught up in playing house. Immediately feeling guilty at that thought. "Yeah. What is the plan for Saturday?"

The plan is for you to do nothing, he thought, to stay away from it…I see that look in her eyes. Back her up, make sure she's safe this time around. She can do this.

**8888888888888888888**

"You're not okay," Kenny said, later that night, looking at her sitting on their bed. "Spill it, Honey."

"Beside the obvious?" she asked, looking up. "Lindsay didn't throw up, I did. I have a couple times in the last few days. I think it might be stress, but…I think I might be pregnant."

He sat back, looking at her for a long moment. Pregnant, why does she look so nervous? We talked about it doing it one more time…God, she almost bled to death. No, it's safe, she's had all the scans, tests, she's good to go. Pregnant, she looks good pregnant. "Max? Really?"

She nodded, as he sat down next to her. "Maybe. I feel pregnant. I need to take a test, but…I think so."

"You going to get sick right now?"

"What?"

He grinned, despite himself. "Cause you look kind of green. Why so nervous? Come on, we make great kids. I know I've sucked, but, Honey, come on, how can it not be a good thing?"

Because for the first time, in a long time, I felt like me today. Not just this mommy person, she thought, feeling incredibly guilty over it. Pregnant, five kids, how…no. "Kenny? You're okay with this?"

"You're not?"

"I almost bled to death and had a stroke. Despite what you think, I don't have a death wish."

"What else? I thought you wanted to do this again."

I miss working, she thought, despite the fact that they are my friends. Feeling useful, like I'm doing something again. "We've been so up and down, five is a lot…and I think I want to work."

**8888888888888888888**

"You told her?"

Natalie nodded. "She's one of us…she's pretty miserable. She's getting us identification."

She nodded. "I trust her."

**8888888888888888888**

"Max, I'm here, we won't go back to that spot, I promise you. I love you, I need you. You really want to work?"

"I'm sorry. It's not what you want…I'm so sorry, I'm not who you want me to be."

He wrapped his arms around her, and pulled her in closer. "You are exactly who I want. I know who I married, okay? It all…we…it all got kind of lost along the way. Max, I shouldn't of…I knew how hurt you were, I shouldn't of guilted you into this. I love you, Honey, we lost Josh, you almost died and…I love you."

She nodded, gulping back her tears. "I love being a mom."

"Oh, I know you do. You're amazing at it too. Even with the ice cream bribes."

She took a steadying breath. "I don't know…I still need to take a test and…and of course if I am…"

"If you are, we're in it together. If you want to work, Max, of course you can. Baby or no baby."

"Who are you?" she blurted out. "What happened to the overprotective, coddling, distant, ass you were being?"

"Ouch."

"No, I mean it. When did you become the guy I love again?"

"When I realized what I was losing."

Max pressed his lips to his, overwhelmed by it all for a minute. "You're going to make me cry."

"You must be pregnant then," he teased, scooping her in closer. "A lot to figure out, okay? You have a test here?"

She nodded. "Yeah. We can know in three minutes"

"What are you waiting for?"


	9. Chapter 9

He smoothed back her hair, letting the silky strands slip through his fingers. Beautiful, he thought, nervous. "Come on. Time is up."

"I can't look," she blurted out, as they walked into the bathroom together. "Why am I so nervous?"

"Because you're pregnant?" he teased. "What does it say?"

Max picked up it gingerly, and shook her head. "It's negative."

"You sure? You feel pregnant, the vomiting?"

"Nerves, I guess…just convinced myself?" she trailed off, more disappointed then she thought. "I really thought, really felt…"

He squeezed her hand in his. "You know, if we're serious…we can really try, Honey."

She turned to look at him, a little unsure of what she was really feeling. I want to work, she thought, I want to be more then I am…another baby, I love my kids…I can do this. "One more?"

Kenny nodded, pulling her into his arms. "Want to get started?"

**999999999999999999999**

"She's committing a felony," Skeeter groaned.

Kenny thought of the wad of cash and fake identification his wife was holding. Into the lion's den, he thought, she'll be fine. Confident this morning, he thought, because she's doing what she loves. What I took from her…she should hate me. But no, she read with Emily, solved Nate's homework emergency, Samantha's hair crisis…kissed me, said she'd meet me in bed tonight. "She told me if we cuff her, she'd divorce me.'

He snorted at that, as they continued to followed the car at a safe distance. "Really?"

"She's a little unpredictable. What is she doing?"

**999999999999999999999**

Slow and easy, Max thought, as she slid into the car next to Natalie. "Where are we going?"

Natalie shook her head. "I'll tell you when we get there."

Shouldn't of gotten in the car, she thought, not liking the look in her friend's eye. "I just need to pick up the girls at three."

"Because you're not coming with us."

"Nat, I can't go," Max trailed off. "I though about it, but…I need to work it out with Kenny. Or at least try to."

"He ignores you, unless your having sex."

"We have great sex," she deadpanned. "It makes up for a lot."

"You love him."

"Yeah," she trailed off. "Of course I do, it's why it's why it's hard sometimes, I don't want to give up on us."

Natalie sighed. "You'll get to this spot too."

"Maybe, probably…I get it, okay? I want to make sure you guys are okay."

**999999999999999999999**

"I'm still going with scary good," Skeeter commented. "You okay?"

"Great. I'll be better when she finishes this," Kenny stated. Back to work, she's serious. Jimmy wants her back, we've been short staffed for awhile, it'll be okay. We can make it work. Get through this first. "She'll be fine."

"Really."

"I'll always worry…come on, she has a way of getting herself into trouble. She…she told me she isn't 25 anymore, that she's grown up, to trust her."

"Do you?"

"Trust her? If course I do."

**999999999999999**

"Here?" Max asked, as Natalie pulled into the spa. "The spa?"

"She loves the spa…so do I."

Max groaned internally. Of course, I shouldn't be surprised. The spa…I should of figured this out, instead of … of what? Raising my kids? I'm more screwed up then I want to admit. "I know, it's just…this whole thing is just…I feel bad for her."

Natalie nodded, as she shifted her Lexus into park. "Come on. Do you have the stuff?"

Max nodded, fingering the envelope in her bag. "Yeah."

"Come on. Lets go get her."

**999999999999999**

Come on, Max, Kenny thought, as they watched her and Natalie go inside. Get out of there. No, she can do this, I know she can…I've had her pigeon holed as my wife for a long time…she can do this.

**999999999999999**

Oh, crap, Max thought, as they walked into the suite. Smile, stay calm, I have back up. They're my friends, they aren't going to shoot me. "Ann? Hi."

"You came," Ann sighed, sitting up on the bed and smiling at her. "We didn't think you would."

"I can be unpredictable," Max stated, staring at her. She cut her hair off, looking at the cropped blonde do…kind of like mine was for awhile. Thin…shaking…look at her pupils. Crap, she's high. "How are you? Ann, what happened?"

She shook her head. "That isn't important anymore."

Your kids are dead, your husband…it more then I ever thought. How can it not matter? "I'm sorry anyway. How long have you been here for?"

Ann smiled again. "Not long enough. This is perfect…I cannot wait to leave, start my new life. Come with us."

Run away, Max thought, gulping back her nausea. Start over? No…Tempting some days, but no. "I can't."

"Too bad," Ann sighed, whipping the gun out from under the blanket and puling the trigger.

**99999999999999999**

"Damn it!" Kenny yelped, feeling his heart leap into his throat. Max, no, not now…Come on, Honey, don't be…No.

"Move in!" Jimmy shouted, as the cars that pulled up. "Kenny wait."

"She's my wife!"

**99999999999999999**

"Natalie!" Max cried, watching her fall to the floor, as Ann's bullet hit her in the shoulder. "What the hell?"

"Hmm, I should get used to this," Ann sighed, aiming again.

"No!" Max shouted, lunging at her and knocking her to the ground. Kicking the gun away, she crushed her to the ground. "Nat? You with me? You okay?"

"Get off of me!" Ann cried. "You fat bitch!"

"You're calling me a bitch? You just shot someone!" Max retorted, pulling the zip ties from her bag. Tying her hands together and her foot to the bed, she kicked the gun into the bathroom. "You're nuts, everyone I ever…God. Nat?"

"She shot me!"

Pressing the clean washcloth into the wound. "Stay still. Help is coming."

"Why?"

"You bitch!" Ann shouted. "I'll kill you too."

"Others have tried," Max said under her breath, hearing the feet pounding the floor in the hallway. "Stay with me, okay. You're okay."

"Max?"

She kept pressing into the wound, the blood running over her fingers. "She needs to get to the hospital."

Kenny watched her for a long moment, his relief knowing no bounds. Okay, she's okay…not her blood. Shot at, my wife, the mother of my children…look at her. Zip tied Ann to the bed? God, I love her.

"We got her," the EMT said. "Mam?"

Max looked up, swallowing back her shock, and looking at the cops swarming the room. It's done. "Okay."

"Bitch!" Ann shouted, as they cuffed her and the cut the ties. "I'll kill you! You set me up!"

Max shuddered, her heart hurting, as Kenny all but pulled her to her feet. "Hi."

He just looked at her. Alive, she's not hurt, she's okay. "Hi, yourself."

"Come here," he murmured, pulling her into his arms. Ignoring the others, he held her close for a long moment, stroking her hair, inhaling her scent, making sure she was really okay. "Honey?"

"I'm okay," she said, pulling back slightly to look at him. "Don't look at me like that. I'm okay."

"She could of shot you."

"She's high, her aim was off."

"Since when are you a comedian?"

She smiled slightly at him. Overprotective, she thought, he's always going to be that way. With our family, me…he always hse been, let him be right now, even if it is mildly embarrassing with all these people around. People I want to work with again. The helpless wife. "I know how much you worry, look at me. I'm in one piece."

"Kenny," Jimmy said, watching them. "Max?"

"Yeah?" Max asked, as she turned to look at him. Worry about Kenny's worry later. "Natalie, she…I should go to the hospital."

"She was harboring a fugitive."

"She's still my friend…at least until she realizes…"

"You saved her life."

"She was aiming for me," Max trailed off, feeling dizzy. "She was high…and, wow."

"Honey?" Kenny asked, steadying her as she swayed on her feet. "Hey, I got you. Max?"

She held onto him for a long moment, as the room wavered around her. "Sorry, I just got really lightheaded for a minute. Kenny, really, I'm fine."

Not fine, he thought, covered in blood, pale, she could of died. "Lightheaded, huh?"

She caught his look, knowing what he was thinking. Negative, it was negative. Screw that, I know my body, I know how I feel. That test has been under the sink for three years. "Yeah."

"Come on," Jimmy said, watching them both. "We're going to the station. Nice work."


	10. Chapter 10

"You look like crap," Skeeter commented. "We distracted Kenny with the interrogation."

She smiled at that. "Does that mean I'm free to go?"

He sat on the couch in Jimmy's office next to her. "Nah, I have to interrogate you first. You were scary good."

"Not bad for someone who hasn't done this in two years? You have me on tape, what else do you need? Have you heard anything about Natalie? I know it was just through the shoulder, but…have you?"

"You know she committed a felony?"

"Yeah…she was still my friend, probably the only one I really liked out of that group. She's going to hate me, she should hate me."

"Felony, Max."

I get it, she thought, wanting to flee…to start over. So up and down…no, I love Kenny, our family, how could I even think. "I know."

"But?"

She shook her head. "I need to pick saner friends. Or never leave the house again. So what do you need from me?"

**10101010101010**

"You should hear what your wife says about you," Ann sighed. "You'll have her in this room soon enough."

I have had her in this room, he thought, right on this table. What did Max tell her? Max run off, kill our kids? Not likely…she may want to kill me some days. "I'm sure she has a lot to say."

Ann smiled. "You want to know?"

"Enough," Jimmy stated, shooting Kenny a look. "We've been looking for you for a long time."

She sighed. "I needed a vacation."

Almost shot my wife, Kenny thought, who I really think is pregnant. Did she know before…she would of told me if it was positive. "At the spa? While your kids were dead in the woods?"

She frowned. "Paul did it."

"You were out, planning parties, two days later," Jimmy continued. "You knew. You killed him."

**101010101010**

"Damn," Max said under her breath, as she sat on her bathroom floor a hour later. Staring at the row of positive pregnancy tests lined up on the edge of the bathtub, she leaned back against the toilet. I can do it again. One more.

"Mommy!"

Sweeping them all into the trash, she stood up slowly. Pregnant. Opening the door, she smiled despite herself. "How is my Monkey-Girl?"

Emily giggled, as she held up her picture. "Look. It's you and Daddy."

"I love it."

"Can we play?"

This is what matters, Max thought, them, this…one more time. One more baby. Damn.

**1010101010**

"Killed Paul? The man who was cheating on me? Beating me?" Ann continued. "He got what he deserved. Our babies…"

Kenny frowned, she knew they were dead, and she was out asking Max to go shopping? Something isn't… "I don't believe you."

"I believe your wife wouldn't mind slitting your throat either. She told me all sorts of things."

"She told me," Kenny lied. What happened, we used to tell each other everything…was I that much of an ass? What did I do to her? "Why don't you tell us about what happened to your kids, while you were off planning parties?"

"Did you kill your husband?" Jimmy interjected.

"I want a lawyer."

**1010101010**

Max tossed the sponge down and stared around the spotless kitchen. This is it, this is going to be my life. And it's okay, one more baby, how can I not want another baby? Rubbing a slow circle over her flat stomach, she relished the silence at the moment. Late night feedings, no sleep, childbirth…I almost died…for that screaming, slimy and wonderful Lindsay…I'm okay, I can do this. "Hey."

Kenny looked at her for a long moment. Is she that miserable? Look at her…tank top, braless and old pajama pants, and the kitchen is scrubbed clean. I did this to her. "Hey yourself."

"How did it go?" she asked. "With Ann?"

He shook his head. "She asked for a lawyer. I think she was more interested in … she said a lot of veiled things about you and me."

"Like what?"

"What did you tell her?"

"She was my friend," Max stated. "I told her and Natalie…we talked about stuff. You wouldn't talk to me. Are you really mad at me about this?"

"I'm not mad. She almost shot you, then…How you feeling?"

"Good…Kenny?" she asked, a little of unsure of what to tell him. "I'm fine. I took…I took six pregnancy tests. They were all positive. I'm pregnant. Hey!"

Kenny swept her up in arms and kissed her. Pregnant? Pulling back, he ran his fingers through her long hair. "Yeah? You look good pregnant…Ah, come here, Honey."

"You're okay with it?" she asked, as he kissed her again. "Kenny?"

"You're going to a doctor, to make sure everything is okay. You're going to take it easy, low stress…ah, Max, I love you. Come here."

Kissing him back, this is right, this is what I want. Kenny, the love of my life, our family…and my job back. "Kenny, wait."

"For what? My beautiful wife told me she was pregnant. It's been a long few days, Honey…and you braless is really doing I for me. You're not going to be able to do that for much longer. Max? Honey? What is it?"

"I…We were talking about me going back to work."

Almost shot. Pregnant. My wife, my reckless and impulsive wife. "It changes things, I know. Max, I know what you want and…yeah, I'm going to worry about you, you're pregnant, and…you really want to work. It's that important to you?"

"I'm not the perfect wife and mother you think I am."

"You make me happier the I deserve. Oh, and the perfect mother thing? Yeah, you are. I love watching you with the kids…Max, I get it. But you're pregnant, we're going to have a baby in nine months…it doesn't make sense right now. Not because I don't trust you, but because you'll have to go on maternity leave seven months in."

"Five kids…that's a lot."

"I wanted six."

"We would have…Oh," Max trailed off, thinking of Josh. "I don't think we knew better then."

"I'm here, okay? I won't leave you alone in it."

She nodded slightly, as he wrapped his arms tightly around her again. "I know. We make great kids, right? Maybe this one will be more calm? Emily exhausts me."

"Because she is you."

"Lindsay follows her like a puppy…Em adores Nate. Samantha is growing up so fast and…I love our kids. I love you. Having a baby…it's…Of course it's what I want, and…I'm not just this mom person."

"It's what I forced on you."

"Yeah."

"You're a great cop. I know that…I know you want to work. I get it, but you're pregnant. You're last pregnancy…it nearly killed you and we're not taking that chance again. You're going to take it easy, and then…have the baby and then…Max, it isn't that long."

And you want me so caught up in another baby that I…No, that isn't what he wants. He wouldn't do this to me again. "It was a fluke."

He nodded, combing through her hair. "I know. Come on, lets go to bed. I'm exhausted."

**10101010101010**

"Ann was arrested?" Kelley said.

"She shot me," Natalie stated. "She…Do you think she killed them? I didn't..but."

"Maxine set her up."

"She lied to me…she saved my life."

"She's a bitch."

**10101010101010**

"No, no, no," Max groaned as she vomited the next morning. "I forgot about this."

"Honey?" Kenny asked, rapping on the bathroom door. "You okay?"

"I would of rather been shot then this," she groaned, as the bile rose again. Upchucking again, she groaned. "I'm okay."

"Liar," he said, holding his hand out to her. "You look like crap."

"I feel like crap," she admitted, as he pulled her up. "Don't look at me like that, it's morning sickness, I'm fine, Kenny. Just pregnant, like millions of other women."

"Yeah, with our kid, that makes it different. Really, you don't look good."

She smiled despite herself. "I though you found me irresistible when I'm pregnant."

"Max, I can never keep my hands off of you."

"One of the things I like best about you."

"You want to fool around?"

She smiled, as he combed through her hair again. "Don't you have to go to work?"

Question your friend, he thought, find out what really happened. No, I want to stay here with her, the kids…especially now. How does she not know how lucky she is to be with them? "Yeah. You okay? Really okay?"

She nodded, kissing him again. "I can handle being pregnant, I've done it twice before. Don't worry about me so much."

"I'll be home early."

"Go catch the bad guys."

**101010101010**

"She's very well behaved," Dr. Meadows said, as she ran the bulb over Max's stomach.

Max glanced at Lindsay, happily engrossed with her stuffed elephant. "She's pretty great. Is she going to be a big sister?"

She smiled at her. "You're about eight weeks. Congratulations."

"Is it safe?" Max blurted out. "I know it is, but…I had a stroke."

"You're fine. You're going to have a beautiful and healthy baby."

Max smiled at that, as she pulled her shirt back down. "Really? Good. I guess I'm just nervous."

"I want to see you in four weeks."

She nodded, as she scooped Lindsay back up. "Okay. You ready to go, Kiddo?"

"Mommy?" Lindsay chirped, snuggling into her embrace. "Home?"

She's perfect, we do make great kids. Being a mom…I love it…I want more then it. Damn it… "Soon, we're going to get your sister and Nate. Can you handle that?"

She nodded. "Mommy pretty."

"Oh, you take after your Dad."

"Max? What are you doing here?"

"Mommy having a baby," Lindsay piped up.

"Max?" Jill asked, as she winced a bit. "Are you pregnant?"

"Yup. About eight weeks," she started. "Full on morning sickness today. I just not ready to tell people yet…although this one seems intent on spilling the beans. Right, Lindz?"

"Ice cream?"

"You've been hanging around your sister? That's her line," Max said. "Yeah, I could go for some too. Jill, I have to go."

She isn't okay, Jill thought, I want to sit down and talk to her. She was happy, grinning ear to ear, glowing, about her first two pregnancies. "We should get lunch this week."

"Yeah, sure."

**101010101010**

"I can handle Ann Davidson," Kenny stated. "Just because…She doesn't get to me."

"Max spilled whatever problems you two were having to her. That doesn't get to you?" Jimmy asked.

"She said it was nothing. I believe her."

"She did good."

"You want her to come back to work, she wants to work," Kenny said finally. "I get it. She's pregnant."


	11. Chapter 11

"Max, wait," Jill said, catching her in the lobby.

"Are you following me?" Max asked, turning to face her. "I'm going to be late."

"It's 11."

Max bit her lip before sighing. "I want to get Em early. I'm trying to avoid some people."

"You helped get a killer off the street."

"You don't know them…it's…you don't know. Catching the killer is the easy part in this."

"You've changed."

"And I don't like it. It was easier before," she trailed off, looking down at Lindsay in her arms. "Kenny doesn't get it."

"Get what?"

"Me. I thought he knew me. He's always wanted this…he told me, years ago…I thought he, we, we're so good together, I know that, he's always wanted…he's always wanted a happy homemaker wife. I let it happen."

"Max."

She looked down at Lindsay again. "And I love my kids, being a mom…I love him. I was never who he wanted, he wanted this idealized version he has of me…and I'm not sure I can live like this anymore."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm not really sure."

**1111111111111111111**

"Pregnant?" Jimmy repeated. "She nearly got shot yesterday."

"She took a test the night before, it was negative…it was wrong. She took a few last night…yeah, pregnant."

"She's feeling okay?"

Shocked, he thought, nervous…wants to work. God, I don't want her to work, she belongs home with the kids, why doesn't she realize that? Almost shot. Pregnant. "She's fine. Trust me, Max is always fine."

**1111111111111111111**

Not sitting at the cool Mom table anymore, Max thought to herself, as she leaned back in the SUV. I don't really care…I don't want them to lose their friends over this. Or their Dad and Uncle…why can't I just be happy? With my family, husband, pregnancy? I've loved Kenny for so long.

"Mommy?"

My clone, she thought, smiling at her older daughter. The one that exhausts me, worries me the most because she's exactly like me. "What's up, Monkey Girl?"

"Why can't I play with Madison and Bella?"

Max winced at that. Bella is dead and Madison's mom is going to hate me forever. "I think they're away, Em."

Nate looked up. "I heard Bella was dead."

"Like Josh?" Em asked, staring at him.

Does she remember him? How do I do this? "Nate, stop. Em…do you remember your brother?"

"Daddy is sad because of him."

She ignored the clench in her stomach. She knows, and she's four… "He is, I know. But he loves you guys, and that helps."

**1111111111111111**

"The blonde hair under Isabella Davidson's nails," Carter said. "The bleached blond hair, with the roots? The DNA is back."

"And?" Kenny pressed.

"Mitchondrial DNA matches. It's her Mom's hair and her hands match the size used to strangle both children."

"She killed them."

Carter nodded. "It's starting to look that way."

**11111111111111111**

We were happy, Max thought, leaning back on the couch and flipping through the pictures. Young. Partners, equals…best friends. When did that change? I should be happy, my husband loves me, we have a great family, I'm pregnant…I can raise my kids, be there for them every day, what is wrong with me?

"Aunt Maxie?"

She shook off her dark thoughts and looked up at her niece. "I didn't hear you come in."

Samantha plopped down next to her. "Zach said you caught the baby killer."

"I helped."

"And Lindsay said you were pregnant. Or said Mommy is having a baby."

"Your cousin has a big mouth."

"I love babies," Samantha sighed. "Can I baby-sit? I was a brat when you had Lindsay, but I want to baby-sit."

Caro would be so proud, she thought, she's so grown up. "I'll take you up on that. You weren't a brat, there was a lot going on. How is Zach?"

"We haven't, not yet…I want it to be perfect."

"He's a good kid. Your mom would be so proud of you."

"I miss her."

**111111111111111111111**

"Son of a bitch," Kenny said, as they stood in front of the cell. Hung? She hung herself? How…god, I have to tell Max.

"She killed her kids…probably her husband too," Skeeter trailed off. "We don't know he whole story."

"I don't think anyone did."

**11111111111111111111111**

"Nat," Max said, opening the door and feeling her stomach drop to her knees. "Hi…what are you doing here? I thought you were still in the hospital."

"No thanks to you," she said. "You know Tom left me? Took the kids? I'm probably going to jail. Are you happy about that? How could you do this?"

"I'm not happy," Max trailed off. "I didn't want…they needed to find her. Her whole family was murdered…I couldn't let that go. Nat, you knew where she was. It didn't have to…I'm not proud of what I did, but I think dead kids are always going to get to me like that. Hey, Tom was cheating on you."

"And I wanted to run off too? That isn't the point."

"I'm a shitty friend, I know. I'm not proud of it, Nat, but I couldn't ignore it. My son was murdered two years ago, and I was a cop for too long to overlook this. Whether or not she…I'm sorry you got hurt. I'm sorry you were involved."

"She wanted to shoot you."

"She wouldn't be the first."

"You're just as miserable as the rest of us. You'll snap too."

"I would never hurt my kids. Whatever the problems in my marriage are, it'll never come to that. You should go."

"This isn't over."

"I know."

****1111111111111111111****

"What?" Max asked, hours later. "She…oh, God."

"Honey," Kenny started, as she paced the length of their living room. "She killed her entire family, we have DNA on it…she did it to avoid prosecution."

"How can you be so cold about it?"

"She was your friend, I get that. She killed her kids, how are you okay with that?"

"I will never will be okay with that…I told Natalie the same thing today. She stopped by. God, I can't…she shouldn't be dead, she had options. If she was that unhappy, she could of…why did this happen?"

"Max," he started. "You're not Ann. Are you that unhappy? Do I make that miserable? The kids? What is it? Just tell me, Honey. We can fix it. We're having a baby, we should be happy right now."

"You're the love of my life, I've loved you for as long as I can remember," Max trailed off. "I wanted to be who you wanted me to be. It isn't about working, not really."

"Then what? Talk to me."

She gulped. "It's the way you treated me, they way you're still treating me. You have me on a pedestal with this wife and mom stuff. It's what you've wanted, you even told me. I thought it was different with us, that you knew me, loved me. Kenny, I can't…I'm not what you want."

"You are exactly who I want. Get this through your thick skull, I love you, Maxine Lacos. And, yeah, I love the loving, nurturing, warm, wife and mother you've become, but I know you're still that tough, strong, impulsive, smart…I know you. I didn't mean…I wanted you to be safe, we have four, soon to be five kids, they need you, I need you…we're all messed up now, aren't we? Lets get away for a few days, just you and me. Honey, please, we can fix it."

She hugged him tightly for a long moment, not wanting to let go. "I think I need some space."

"Max?" he asked, not letting go of her and feeling his heart drop to his knees. "Honey, no, God, no…Look at me. It's you and me. We can work anything out together. I love you, I love you so much. Don't leave, please don't leave."

She hugged him tighter. "I don't want to."

"Stay. I love you. Stay."

"I can't breathe here, I can't think…I love you, I love our family…I need a few days alone."

"Stay, Max, please stay. I need you. You have no idea how much I need you."

"Then give me this. Kenny, I need a few days."

"Where?" he said. I'm losing her, I've lost her.

"I…I don't know. A few days. Kenny, I need this…I don't want to lose you, leave you…you and the kids are everything to me. I need to be alone, and…please understand."

"No, I don't understand. You're about to walk out on us."

"Kenny, if I don't get out of here for a few days…I'm afraid I might snap. That I might want to leave for good. I know I'm pregnant, emotional…I need to clear my head, breathe. I love you. Do you have any idea how much I love you? It terrifies me to know how much I love you, that I can love you that much. I really need this right now. I need you to be okay with it."

He let her go, watching her for a long moment. My Max, the love of my life, she wants to leave. A few days, that's all she's asking… Look at her. She's a wreck. "Will you call me? Let me know you got there safely? You're right, you're pregnant, I'm going to worry."

"You always worry. Of course I'll call…it's just a few days."


	12. Chapter 12

"She didn't leave him," Jill sighed. "She's taking a few days, Jimmy. She looked awful, then when Lindsay piped up she was pregnant? I'm worried about her."

"I knew being a stay at home Mom would do this to her."

"They're good together. They have adorable kids. She seemed happy, Jimmy…I think Kenny has given her a rough time lately."

"Oh, I know he has. He has her barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, of course she walked out."

**12121212121212**

"Daddy," Emily whined. "Where is Mommy? We were reading a book."

"Aunt Maxie was teaching her to read," Samantha piped up. "When is she coming home?"

"A few days," Kenney trailed off, looking around the disarray in the living room. A break. From me. The kids. God, I miss her, and it's only been 24 hours. I drove her away. "Come on, she's pregnant, she deserves a vacation before she has another baby. Em, we can read. What book?"

"Elephants."

"She didn't leave because you guys were fighting. Again?" Samantha asked. "My parents fought all the time…I thought you guys were different."

Kenny gulped at that. "We're not like them. She'll be back in a few days."

"I thought she liked having us here."

"What? Of course she does. Nothing is more important to Max then the four of you. She's been through a lot too, cut her some slack."

"If you guys get divorced, what happens to us?"

"We're not getting divorced."

**1212121212121212**

Max took a steadying breath, as she settled down on the cool sand. Not like our little beach, she thought, Emily would love this. It would be romantic with Kenny…I miss that. We've changed, our lives have changed…I've loved him since I was 22, was I so blinded by that I ignored our problems? I still love him.

"Hello?"

Max shook herself out of her dark thoughts. Squinting up, she sat back slightly. "Hi…do I know you?"

"I see a sad and beautiful woman all alone on a beach? It is the stuff movies are made of."

She smiled despite the corny phrase. "Really? How do you know I'm sad? Or alone?"

"I've seen you walk out here for the last two days."

"I should be disturbed. Are you a stalker because I've been there before?"

"A stalker? Nah. Bill Carter."

"Maxine Lacos," she said, as he sat down next to her. "Um, listen…you seem very nice."

"And you see very alone. Let me buy you dinner."

She slid her hand with her wedding and engagement rings in her pocket. "You don't know me."

"Why don't we get to know each other?"

**12121212121212**

"Go home, Jimmy said, noting his distracted behavior.

"What?" Kenny asked. "I'm fine."

Not fine, Jimmy thought, he's devastated over Max. Is she coming back? Is that what this is about? "Have you heard from her?"

Kenny felt his stomach clench at that. Called once, said she was there and safe. That she loved me…why, Honey, why? God, I need her, miss her…How does she handle the four of them every day? "Yeah. She's fine. Walking on the beach. She's fine."

"Give her the time she needs."

"She's…Yeah. I know."

"Come on, take a few days off. Spend some time with your kids. Max will come around."

**1212121212121212**

"Is this what you do? Pick up sad and alone women on the beach?" Max asked. "I could be a crazy person."

"I don't think a crazy person would be taking long walks on the beach."

She bit her lip to keep from laughing. He's sweet, really, what am I doing? Married, pregnant, family at home…And I'm flirting with some guy on the beach? My overprotective, coddling, smother me to death, husband…who is the love of my life. That sweet, fun loving, loyal, strong, wonderful, man. Damn it. "Maybe not. Listen, you seem really nice. I'm not…I'm soul searching right now, and I don't want…I'm not what you're looking for."

"What are you looking for?"

Max paused at that. "A break from my life."

"Come on, I'll buy you a drink."

**1212121212121212**

"Daddy!" Emily cried. "Push me higher!"

Max's twin, he thought, pushing the swing again, looks like her, acts like her…Melts my heart, just like her Mom. "How high do you want to go, Em?"

"Clouds!"

Kenny gave her another push, and glanced at Lindsay digging in the sandbox. We make great kids…And Samantha and Nate, she can't be serious. She won't leave me, I can't do this without her. Crap, I have to go get Nate from soccer…how does she do this everyday? "Ah, right, Em…Shit!"

"Daddy!" she sobbed, as she flew out of the swing and hit the hard dirt. "Daddy!"

"Em," he stammered, looking at her twisted arm, as she screamed. "Ah, Em, come on. I got you, Princess. We'll go to the doctor and…I got you."

**12121212121212**

"Just that?" Bill smiled, as they sat across from each other.

Max couldn't help but smile back as she sipped her diet coke. "I'm off alcohol right now. This probably isn't the best choice either. What do you do?"

"Besides pick up women on the beach? I'm a vet."

We were talking about getting a dog, Max thought, before I found out I was pregnant. "Taking care of sick puppies?"

He nodded, sipping his beer. "Dogs, cats, horses, whatever needs my help. What about you?"

She shook her head. "Nothing right now."

"Before that?"

She smiled, and pushed her hair back. "I was a cop for a long time…I'm raising my kids."

"Kids?"

She nodded. "Two daughters, plus a niece and nephew that live with us. I'm married, and…I'm sorry, I should of told you from the start. Oh, and I'm pregnant."

Bill laughed, and leaned back. "Anything else you want to tell me?"

"Oh, I have a colorful past, but those are the basics. I'm taking a few days just for me. Kenny and me…we need a few days apart. We've had some stuff…I need some space from it. You seem really great, but…it's not…I should go."

"Come on, stay. You obviously need someone to talk to."

**1212121212121212**

"Kenny?" Jill asked, as she watched him pace the waiting room for a long moment. "You can go back with Emily. We got the ex-rays back, she broke her arm, she's going to be fine. She's charming all the nurses."

"Broken arm?" Kenny repeated, scooping up Lindsay. Max is going to kill me…she is so much better at this. Call her, no…she. "Crap…she's okay?"

"She barely cried. She's asking for you…and for her Mom."

He felt his stomach clench up at that. She should be here. It would of never happened if she stayed. She's going to hate me even more. "I'll have to do."

She would want to be here, Jill thought, she's all about her kids. Everything she does is for them.. "Do you want me to call her?"

Taking time, space, he thought, don't bug her. I can do this. "No, I'll do it later. Where is Em?"

"Follow me," Jill said, watching as he adjusted Lindsay in his arms. "It's a clean break, it'll heal up just fine."

Kenny nodded, as they walked into the room. "Hey there, Princess."

"Daddy!" she squealed, holding up her bright yellow cast. "Look!"

"That's something," he said, sitting down next to her. "Want to get ice cream on the way to get Nate?"

Emily nodded, snuggling in closer to him. "With sprinkles?"

"Whatever you want."

**1212121212121212**

"Thanks," she said, as they walked back toward the hotel. "I hope you have better luck with whoever you pick up tomorrow."

"I want to pick you up again."

Max smiled, despite herself. "The pregnant, whiney, mess? You should flee from me."

"Your husband is an idiot."

"He has his moments, but no. He's great, we're just…I know I need to go home."

**1212121212121212**

"That's crazy, Em," Nate laughed, as she chased him into the kitchen with her cast. "You're crazy. Whoa."

"What?" Kenny said following them into the kitchen and freezing. "Hey! What are you guys doing? Jesus Christ!"

"Kenny!" Zach yelped, jumping off Samantha and the kitchen table. "Hi, uh, hi."

"You have got to be kidding me," he said, as Nate continued to stare at them. "Guys, out. Nate, go. Em, go…What the hell?"

"We were," Zach stammered, pulling up his pants. "Uh, we were."

"Having sex on the kitchen table?" Kenny deadpanned, as Samantha straightened out her shirt. "Go home, Zach."

"Okay," he said, looking back at Samantha. "I'll call you and. Bye."

"Like you and Aunt Maxie haven't done this all over the house," Samantha stated.

"That isn't the point. We're adults."

"I love him."

"You're 15. That's way too young."

"We used a condom. I'm on the pill."

"What?" Kenny asked. "The pill? Did…Your Aunt took you to get the pill? Did she know…Max."

"She trusted me."

"On the table? I can't deal with this right now."

**1212121212121212**

Max looked at the cell phone in her hands. Five days, she thought, I don't think I've gone hours without talking to Kenny in years. I miss him…why am I doing this? Call him. Tell him you want to come home. Sighing, she dialed.

"Max?" he said in way of greeting.

"Hey," she said softly. "I didn't want to wake anyone up."

Come home, please come home. No she needs this. At least she called. "They're all asleep, it's late."

She gulped, pulling her legs up to her chest. "Emily hasn't driven you nuts yet?"

"She's you, Max, she knows how to drive me crazy."

"I want to come home," she blurted out. "I miss you, I miss them…I hate not being there."

"Thought you wanted space. That you were being suffocated."

He is mad, he told me, all those years ago, that this is what he couldn't handle. Me leaving…Oh, god. "I did need space…but we can't fix whatever is wrong this way."

"You want to fix it?"

"Don't you?"

Yes, God, I love you, he thought, so much. Anything you want. Tell her, she's still the same person, even after everything… "It's all I want."

Max laid back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. It'll work, we can fix this…we can have this baby, we'll be okay. "Me too."

Em's arm…Grounding Samantha for life. Not over the phone. "I took some time off this week. Tomorrow? Six hour drive?"

Max bit her lip. "Yeah. I'd leave right now."

"And I'd like nothing more then you crawling into bed with me in the middle of the night. Yeah, tomorrow…how you feeling?"

"Pregnant. You've seen me in the morning."

"I can't wait to see you. I love you, Honey."

Max smiled, through her tears that threatened to fall. "I love you too. I'll see you tomorrow."

**12121212121212**

"You did what?" Jimmy said. "On the table?"

"It just…I love her, Dad," Zach stated. "The table wasn't great, but…I love her."

"Kenny caught you?" Jimmy said, wondering why he hadn't gotten that phone call yet. "I get you like her, but…We're all going to sit down."

"She's upset too, and … Max took off, she doesn't think she's coming back. Her parents and everything? Dad, I want to be there for her. I love her."

**12121212121212**

"Kenny Lacos?" a man said, the next morning, as he opened the front door. "You've been served."

"What?" he asked, taking the envelope. Now what? Samantha hates me, Em broke her arm, and I don't really know what to expect from Max in a few hours.

"I just deliver them."

Glancing back into the kitchen, and the table he spent a hour disinfecting last night, he tore open the envelope. Crap, he thought, reading it, crap.

The End


End file.
